The Tale of the Tape

Well, here it is, Wednesday, and I am not too sure what to write. So I present to you a sports style match up of some themes that are hopefully relevant to readers of this here fine blog.

ROUND 1: WORK
Law School: 20 page papers that need to be edited down to 8.
Undergrad: 2 page papers -> format margins ->font=courier new-> five page papers.
Real World: Varies, but likely not very long.

Advantage: Undergrad, unless you have morals, then work.

ROUND 2: HOURS
Law School: 9 am to 2 am
Undergrad: 2 pm to 3 am
Real World: 9 to 5 (or 8 to 4 to avoid traffic)

Advantage: Undergrad. Seriously.

ROUND 3: Parties!
Law School: None, until you finish your final at 11 am, your entire class goes straight to the bar and then no one remembers anything past 3 pm.
Undergrad: Tuesday through Sunday. Plus Monday night Football.
Real World: Housewarming... Pot Luck Dinner... BACHELOR!

Advantage: Push. Undergrad is pretty amazing, but a little self destructive. Real World ranges from painful to epic. Law School makes up for lack of frequency with intensity and self destruction.

BONUS ROUND: PARTY THEMES!
Law School: CIV PRO IS OVER!!!
Undergrad: Men wear silly hats, women wear lingerie. (It's a pretty tame picture)
Real World: Everyone bring a food dish that starts with the letter B!

Advantage: Undergrad. Seriously, silly hats and lingerie. My Oscar the Grouch Fuzzy Visor is one of the few possessions I truly wish made it through college. I miss him a lot more than say, my dignity, which was also lost during undergrad.

ROUND 4: Dating Rituals
Law School: Dating? Yeah right, I have cases to read, a memo to write, plus I need to work on my oral arguement, and most people in the class are already working on outlines, do you know if there is a new reading online? Oh, I need to apply for that internship, I have to get some transcripts ready.
Undergrad: Weird drunk hookups and probably at least one heart wrenching break up.
Real World: Oh, THIS is what our parents talk about when they reminisce about dating.

Advantage: Real World.

ROUND 5: Free Time
Law School: Catching up on work.
Undergrad: Napping, video games, substance abuse.
Real World: Bed Bath and Beyond, Home Depot, Giant, Yard Work

Advantage: Undergrad. I still don't know how my roommates and I wasted so much time.

ROUND 6: Neurotic Behaviors
Law School: Playing "will I get cold called in class" roulette.
Undergrad: Spending an entire weekend playing video games and sleeping.
Real World: Trying to remember if you turned off the lights, locked the door, and turned down the heat before you left.

Advantage: Law School. It's really not so bad once it happens. And undergrad just hurts your sense of accomplishment.

ROUND 7: Big Decisions
Law School: Do I work in a large firm making bank and never seeing sunlight, or do I work in government or public interest and retain some sanity while earning considerably less?
Undergrad: Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheesier?
Real World: Who do I spend the rest of my life with?

Advantage: Law School. You have already made the worst decision of your life by choosing to attend, so after that everything is cake.

ROUND 8: Classmates/co-workers
Law School: I only see mortal enemies standing in my way of a good class rank. And that one kid who always takes off his shoes during class.
Undergrad: A wide variety of interesting and well rounded people, most of whom you will only talk to while both of you are drunk.
Real World: Office gossip, office flirt, office dress code violator, Mr. Too Much Cologne, the Brown Noser, and Too Loud Phone Talker.

Advantage: Law School. Honestly, at least everyone knows where they stand.

BOUNS ROUND: BEST FRIEND!!!
Law School: A Columbian Guy in a Sombrerro with a Burro.
Undergrad: Whichever roommate you aren't fighting with that week.
Real World: Rover.

Advantage: Your family.

ROUND 9: Highlight of the Week
Law School: Friday! Now I have all night, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday to study!
Undergrad: What does it matter, you are going to do the same things regardless of the day.
Real World: TGIF. They even named a restaurant after it.

Advantage: Law School. Real World weekends rarely live up to their expectations. Law School ones are a chance to take your time and savor your work.

ROUND TEN: Hopes, Dreams, and Desires:
Law School: Please let me get 1 point higher so I can move up in my class rank!
Undergrad: What the **** am I going to do with my life?
Real World: Spouse, Job, House, 2.5 kids, dog, retirement plan

Advantage: Real World (But then again I am 25)

Scores so far:
Law School: 4
Undergrad: 3
Real World: 2

FINAL ROUND: What you get at the end of it all:
Law School: A top notch legal education, a chance to take part in the most fundamental parts of American life, jealous looks at your high school reunion,
Undergrad: A decent scholastic education, several hangover cures, lasting friendships, and a real understanding of who you really are.
Real World: A chance to look back on it all with your friends and family by your side, time to relax and enjoy, a deeper understanding of life, humanity, and God.

Some Notes
*I know I made everything into gross caricatures of what they really are.
*This is by far the most time I have spent on a post to date.
*You can feel free to insert your own spiritual being for God.
Enjoy the links.