SWM ISO NSA Main Squeeze.

The Background:

Over the semester I've talked a lot about how I feel people should run their lives. I've tried to convey that this direction is not coming from a place of judgment or superiority but from a "been there, done that, wouldn't recommend it" and "don't do what Donnie Don't does" type mentality. Along the way I've received many a comment telling me to step down off my high horse and/or stop judging. Let me be (not quite) the first to say that I do NOT practice what I preach.

I am the Catholic priest who touches little boys. The Eliot Spitzer and Jerry Springer (yes he was a politician before he was a trashy daytime talk show host) of 'inspirational' writing. On the off chance you (reader) are one of the folks who thinks I'm a judgmental, holier than though, my shit don't stink type asshat and you happen to be both reading what I write still and haven't picked up on the metaphorical allusions I just dropped, allow me to tell you something: I'm a hypocrite.

Somewhere inside my mind I know how I ought to conduct my life. Despite the fact that I often choose bad over good, unhealthy over healthy, fun over productive, yin over yang and the devil over the angel, I still know what I should and shouldn't be doing. I'm a "responsible" adult. I know I should study instead of going out and once I'm out I should head home instead of staying for one more.

The bottom line is, unfortunately, I make my own decisions. When I'm a free man with no one to answer to - no "rock," as it were - I have the uncanny ability to justify truly unjustifiable actions to myself. (Don't you judge me! At least I admit it.)

The Issue at Hand:

As I've mentioned before, I'm an extremist. I can buckle down, get a 4.0, hold down a good job and be devoted to a fine lady OR I can wil' out, be the life (and death) of the party, ensure that whoever is with me is meeting their full wil' out potential and drop them if they're not. Furthermore, I have the ability to lather, rinse and repeat day after day. Fortunately, since I've been attending UB I've been participating in more of the former than the latter. Unfortunately, as of this past semester, I've been participating in only the latter.

I've been alive for 24 years and I have never done some of the ridiculous things I've been doing as of late. (I will do us both a favor here and refrain from mentioning things which are not tertiary level education appropriate.) First and foremost, the majority of the people around me have always smoked. I always gave them a hard time about it. Within the past month and a half I started smoking. Why? I'll explain in just a second. I used to limit myself to going out Thursday-Saturday, if that. Recently I've been going out Tuesday-Sunday. Why? I'll explain in just a second. I used to get to bed at a decent time and be up and at 'em on days that I didn't go out. I cannot, for the life of me, remember the last time I went to bed before 3am and usually it's around 5. Why? I'll explain now:

I, strait up, don't care. I smoke because I enjoy it when I drink and I have no reason not to. I go out every night because I have class Mon. - Wed. nights, my earliest class being 2 pm, and a select few of my close boys go out most nights. I stay up late and sleep in on days I don't go out because I have no reason to get up early.

Periodically, over the past 3 (binging) months, I've wondered what the hell I'm doing and why the hell I'm doing it. However, at no point during one of said reflection periods have I been able to come up with a reason to not be doing what I'm doing. I'm having fun. I'm hurting no one but myself (and I can't immediately see how I'm even doing irreparable damage in that department.) Upon further examination I realized the difference between "responsible" Miles and "I don't give an eff about ess" Miles.

My "Aha!" Moment:

I don't have a rock. At any given point in my life I've had someone that I either a.) lived with; or b.) saw/talked to daily, whom I felt held me up to a certain standard. In recent years it was the combination of girly and Dukes. Before that it was just Dukes. Right now I am my own rock...errr, stone. While I roll (read: stumble) I gather no moss, at least, right?

I love my Dukes, I speak to them most days. I do not need them managing my life right now, though. Unlike in years past, I'm a bit more selective about what I tell them. I am 24 years old, single, I eat nails, shit nickels and I'm full of piss and vinegar. I don't particularly want a girlfriend. Yes, I understand this may be denial. Whether I haven't found a cool, down-to-earth enough lady to make me lose interest in my shenanigans or whether my shenanigans make me not boyfriend material (for the type of girl I'm interested in) the point remains the same - a girlfriend, at this point in time, doesn't seem to be in the cards.

When getting down to the root of my 'rock' situation, I stumbled across what I really need: A girl who knows how to get down but chooses not to during the week. Said girl need'nt be girlfriend material, just fun. A girl I can call up and say, "I'm makin' stir fry tonight and Ron rented 'The Hangover,' wanna come over?" - an angel to offer me something more appealing when the devil on my shoulder, dancing with a fine devil lady in one hand and a red bull vodka in the other, is shouting out the alcoholics anthem directly in my ear: "Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots! Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots! Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots - EVERYBODAYY!!"

Main Squeeze Application**:

For those of you who have read Tucker Max's short story compilation, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, this will look rather familiar. Please don't confuse it with a girlfriend application - it is far from that. I'd like to call it my main squeeze application. Unlike a girlfriend the main squeezee does not engage in any sort of sexual activity with the main squeezer. The squeezee and squeezer may have feelings for each other and, provided the proper circumstances, would act on said feelings but both have too much respect for the sanctity of the relationship to breach the unwritten social contract of the main squeeze relationship.

The main squeeze relationship is a symbiotic one. Both parties receive the benefit of a non-biased, platonic, opposite sex relationship during the week yet play each other up to the opposite sex in a "wing man" like fashion on the weekend when it becomes clear said party is commencing the game-spitting process. If neither party has attempted to spit game or both parties have struck out during the game-spitting process it is understood that the main squeeze relationship has the availability to continue on into the weekend.

If a mutually beneficial main squeeze relationship sounds like something you'd be interested in please email me (mileslamborne(at)yahoo(dot)com) the following information.

Main Squeeze Application

First Name (only):



Contact Information:



Three (3) References (verifying your lack of a significant other):



A brief statement as to why you think you are down with the get down:



What you see as your value add to the symbiotic, main squeeze relationship:





I look forward to a response (or two, even?)


Remember kids: Be well, do good work and always know your dealer.


Cheers,

Miles.

**Surgeon General's Warning: The main squeeze relationship is not for the faint of heart. Going into the relationship both parties must have mutual understanding that the relationship cannot extend beyond the realm of the Dave Matthews "Say Goodbye" lyrics (if it is to enter a sexual realm at all.) Before entering into any unwritten main squeeze agreement both parties should understand the potential for becoming emotionally attached to the opposite party. Only after careful examination of such risks has occurred should either party consider this volatile form of relationship. Godspeed.

Spencer OUT!

I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent when I am through
Maybe we could meet again further down the river
And share what we both discovered...
Then revel in the view

Well, this is officially my last blog post! It is funny, on the schedule it says "Exam week, optional." The last law school exam was Saturday the 12th.

This blog has been a really great experience. I have never actually written for anyone or anything, at least other than school work. Although I frequently blog and participate in online communities, never before have I had a regular readership or deadlines. The pressure of the deadline was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I hated when it was a busy Tuesday and at midnight I have the option of finishing my reading, going to bed, or blogging. Having said that, I found myself driven to continue writing, even when I wasn't feeling inspired.

Having a readership is a lot of pressure as well. I figured I can't write caffeine fueled rants all the time. But like the deadline, it helped me to think more about my writing, proofread it, edit it, and made me a better writer.

A quick thought on blogging in general: It makes you more aware of, and appreciate better, your life. If you go through your day thinking, what will I tell people when I get home, it makes you notice the fact that you are sitting in orientation week after week. You also notice that you plan your day around the orientation to get that free pizza. You laugh about it to yourself, you go home and share it. I would recommend anyone reading this try blogging. It is sort of like journaling, but less private. This blog is run through Blogger.com, a Google owned service. It is easy and free. Other popular sites include Wordpress.com and Xanga.com.

I hope that my posts were interesting. I tried to provide a look into UB Law. We exist in our own microcosm sometimes. There is really no reason for someone not attending the law school to ever enter our building. We tend to be too busy to get very involved with things like intramural sports. Very few of us live around campus. We are older. We are busy. Law school also has a certain aura surrounding it, like it is this mythic beast, that is both scary for its ruthlessness, intimidating for its level of knowledge, and yet awesome in the dedication of its students.

Yes, these are all true, but underneath it all, we are students, just like everyone else at UB. We worry about our grades. We pull all nighters. We drink too much on occasion. We drink WAY too much coffee. We love free pizza. We complain about the cost of books. We watch reality television.

Seriously, we have one of the coolest places to hang out on campus, in the Edgar Allen Poe quad. Stop by and say hi. If you get there early in the morning, and the weather is nice, you will see myself, James the sailor, Heather the student rep, and maybe a few others at one of the picnic tables, doing a little reading, doing a little gossiping, drinking a lot of coffee. Stop by and say hi.

And a few shout-outs to some people who have made all this possible. First of all, a big thank you to Laura for your firm but understanding guidance through this whole process. As blog administrator, you do a great job keeping us all on task. And the secretary in the office, for always being efficient and professional.

Thanks to my fellow bloggers for inspiring me each week. I always looked forward to Charlene F. revealing a little more about how hard she works, and how she takes nothing for granted. Liz B, I always felt like you were sharing something I thought but was too embarrassed to write. Ariana H. for always having her eyes on the prize! And Tabitha, Lainey, LJ, Ned, Miles, Abdu Eaton, trust me I read all your posts every week, and appreciated them all.

I also have to thank my professors, especially Mr. Lindsay, Mr. Tiefer and Mr. Rochvarg, for making law funny enough to end up in a student blog. Also, the law scholars fall into this category. And Mr. Boan, my TA, for the line, "In this economy, you have to put periods at the end of your citations." My fellow students, for providing insight and ideas. Particularly, I can say for sure that Mr. Kiniry inspired at least one post. Sirs Plaxen and Doring definitely made me laugh with astute commentary, which I then repeated here. Mr. Rapport, Mr. Hovell, and Mr. Heron for confirming that yes, my criminal professor DID just make that joke. Mr. Gorton arranged a field trip that was subject of a post. Also, everyone on my bar-bowl team. Even though you don't even know it, you have your picture all over this blog.

Mr. Jeffcoat and Ms. Allison, all those early morning bull sessions have been key in my success and sanity through law school. Also Ms. L-O'Toole, Ms. Evans, Ms. Snowberger, I have enjoyed each of your unique takes on law school. Mr. Rosemond, for making sure to not infringe on my personal beliefs on the time-space continuum. Mr. Guy, for being the best comedian at UB. To the other guys and gals that I have studied with, complained to, drank with, laughed with, or just sat next to in class, thanks.

To my family and my girlfriend, obviously more thanks than I could ever give. That is all I am going to say about that.

Finally, the BIGGEST SHOUT OUT IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, TO MR. BRETT SCHWARTZ. He is the only person who I can confirm read my posts each week, and he offered nothing but support and interest.

GOODBYE all, its been real.

Really awesome.

(Anyone who does desire to continue to follow my blogging, I have a personal blog, as well as a Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Myspace, etc etc. I would suggest either a web search or an email to spencer.mierzejewski(at)ubalt(dot)edu.)

Breaking, Procrastinating, and....

First, I am sorry I missed posting last week. I was sick. My dog was sick. And if you've ever been ill and had to take a dog out every two hours because he is ill--while you are ill-- you can understand why I didn't hike down to the school and try to squeeze in the writing before he'd need to head back out. (My dog and I are eerily in synch. For instance, we are both allergic to milk.)

At any rate, I am back--at least, for this one last post before the big, needed, welcomed, and long awaited holiday break. Huzzah!


Normally, I'm the girl out shopping on Christmas Eve because I still have five or twenty people still on my list with nary a gift. I stay up 'till two a.m. wrapping presents and usually find that one or two escaped beneath the bed and must be presented, with a sheepish smile, around New Year's to the person who the runaway gift was slated for.


But not this year.


Not this year because I have no shopping to do! I can't go home until after Christmas, so I'm going to wait and take advantage of all the after Christmas sales. This is, perhaps, my worst case of procrastination to date. (Not to mention Olympian level cheapness.) I'm fairly certain I've never actually left a task until significantly after its deadline had passed--at least, not on purpose. I feel like I deserve an award. A Christmas Procrastinator's Award.


It should be a shiny badge. It should be a shiny badge because I like things that are shiny and badges always seem so official.


I may actually make gifts. The ideas are swimming in the back of my head: picture albums made out of old album covers, scarves, a blanket made out of my baby clothes for my mom, a rag rug for some as yet undecided person.....But, I have time off and so why rush? I can't afford to ship anything, so I can wait; wait until I'm comfortably "breaking" through December and early January.

Hey, I have to focus on the positive. This is my first Christmas away from home. My nephew is using full sentences and I think he called me Tabitha rather than his usual 'Bitha the last time we spoke on the phone. These are bad things all.

Now, for those of you late finishers, here are a few tips from the expert:

Wal-Mart is great at about 3:00a.m..

Usually, there is a Rite-Aid or CVS open on Christmas Eve and Day in case anything slipped past or you have an unexpected guest to buy for.

Buy extra--especially if you have any cash after Christmas. Some easy generic gifts make for great filler if you've failed in your listed endeavors. (Yes, yes I have done this. No one knows you bought it with no one in mind. Sheesh.)

And, of course, watch out for zombies! Don't slip on banana peels. And, finally, large jars of peanut butter make acceptable gifts to college students or those working for AmeriCorps.

Three Things I Found This Week: The Book Thing--where all books are free--is amazing. Yes, amazing. (Although, technically that was last week.) I don't like to collage because that means things must touch. And, my brain has finished with creativity--which is too bad since I still have a portfolio to finish, a book to make, and the MFA open mic poetry reading! (By the way, don't let the idea that I might read stop you from coming: Thursday, Dec. 17th, 5th Floor of the Student Center, 7:30p.m.)

Three Things I Still Need to Find: A little left over creativity--I still have poems to revise. The courage to order, without assistance, at Star Bucks. And, a short list of books to read over the holiday.

This Is It!

I don't think you guys know how unimaginably happy I am that this semester is ending this week! When it started, I just knew that I wouldn't pass ACCT 201 because it was so hard. However, after weeks of doing assignment after assignment, I think I might actually pass with a "B". How remarkable?! Who would've thunk it? Lol. My poor laptop almost saw death several times because I almost slammed it against the nearest wall. I have never taken a class that has challenged me so much (except for my math classes) in my whole little life. I've overcome so many small obstacles this semester that I'm actually ready to start the next, but not a day sooner than January 25th! I'm proud of myself and I rarely say that for trying to be modest and humble. And, I'm proud of you guys who stuck in there with me, and encouraged me everytime I thought I'd had enough. A support system is never made up of only your close family and friends, but everyone around you who encourages you to move closer to your goals. Thanks everybody! Now, as I blow kisses to all my fellow bloggers and readers alike, I know say goodbye, see ya around, it's been fun, and always reach for the stars!

Happy Holi-daze (Now Hurry up and Enjoy it!)

The Background:

A declaration: November 1st of every year shall henceforth be known as Christmas Day - this rant is long overdue, my apologies in advance.

Walking into the local Rite-Aid, down the street from campus, the Monday after Halloween I noticed several more employees than usual. These folks weren't facilitating customers quickly through the check-out line nor creating a bigger presence in the store for anyone who might have a question. Nope, these employees were unloading the "Holiday Truck!" Yep, that's right, the Monday morning following Halloween, Rite-Aid was already unloading the shelves of candy, jack-0-lanterns and disgustingly plastic costumes and were proceeding to fill them with candy canes, garland, pine/cinnamon scented candles, stuffed snowmen and reindeer alike. Furthermore, they were so keen on getting rid of the Halloween stock that upon check-out they were placing candy in each customers bag. Absolutely ridiculous - or so I thought at the time.

I somehow doubt that I'm the only one who has noticed this phenomenon. Chrismahanukwanzakah comes earlier and with less actual meaning every year. It seems that we have managed to remove Christ from Christmas, the re-dedication of Jerusalem from Hanukkah and that cute little dashiki adorned bear from Kwanzaa.

How We Got There - Christmas in April:

I saw a series of commercials that summed it all up for me. Target's (or Tar-zshay's, for you French folk out there) quintessential holiday shopper mom-aunt-sister-next door neighbor-lady who is better than you in everything that is the holidays. It's presumed that this woman has no "job." If she happens to be a stay at home mom she's likely the most ridiculously over-organized, over-routinized, to the books mom there is. She takes the phrase "Christmas in April" to heart and literally has her holiday shopping done before the summer heat truly sets in. During the holi-daze that the rest of us experience she is the the lady that is baking cookies, organizing Christmas caroling (didn't you know she sings soprano in the local church choir?) and concocting the eggnog that causes A Christmas Story-like Christmas morning hangover, making unwrapping present more of a chore than a joy. She is the lady that has her holiday decorations up the day after Thanksgiving and no later. Her gingerbread house looks like a display model at an architectural firm. She hosts THE holiday party and when you attend, her home looks like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine. She is the holiday equivalent of "The Most Interesting Man in the World" - Queen Smash of Holiday Mountain. <---- This is what is wrong with the holidays.

Chrismahanukwanzakah, like St. Valentine's day, has turned into a Hallmark holiday - taken over by the evil corporations. The same way we feel obliged to tell that special someone we love them with roses and a card on Valentine's day we feel obliged to go into debt ensuring that we have fulfilled our holiday duties during the Chrismahanukwanzakah holiday season. Yeah, I get it, I'm a business major - it's all about the corporate bottom line. "Black Friday" is called "Black Friday" because it's the one day of the year many retail companies get into the black (as opposed to the red) on the profit tip. The sooner we get the people to shop, the more they'll spend AND the sooner we'll be able to tell our stockholders that, once again, our company has survived the fourth quarter holiday season. With all the obligatory holiday madness that goes on it's often difficult to slow your stroll long enough to realize what the season is meant to be about.

Tony Robbins "Remember the Reason" Rant:

It's not about quantity, it's about quality. The concept of the "Chinese auction" style of gift-giving is fine for the workplace but this may by the the most impersonal detriment to the holiday season there is when it comes to friends and family. Gift cards, though practical, are a close second. This says, "I'm too lazy/don't care enough to pick something out that you'd actually like so I am going to give you money . . . but it's only legal tender at one retailer - hopefully you can find something there you want/need." Not far behind the two is the expensive yet thoughtless gift. "This is really expensive so I know you meant well, but why the eff did you give it to me?"

We're all guilty of it - overspending on "gifts" only to have buyers holiday remorse during January and February. How about instead of dropping ridiculous coin on obligatory presents this holiday season you try spending something a little more valuable than money (time) on the people close to you. Give a gift that's not necessarily the most expensive but one that you took the time and effort to hand pick for the recipient. Spending time with that person may be even more valuable. Perhaps, instead of writing "To: Person's Name / From: Your Name" on the tag of the gift you attach a card to it with a small letter inside letting said family member/close friend know some of the intangible gifts they have given you over the years. Just a thought.

Hurry up so we can relax. As American's we don't typically have too much time off from work. I don't know this for sure but I'd be willing to bet that a strong majority of us spend a good deal of that PTO with family over the holidays. We're taking this "vacation" time to relax and packing it with undue stress. With families being split up with marriage and divorce the holidays can be a stressful time trying to cram a few Christmas's into a day.

I recently witnessed an intense conversation between the women of my family. They were trying to work out where and when we were all going to get together for Thanksgiving. When the time came it seemed to be a rush in, eat (in 15 minutes a meal it took a day and a half to prepare), have "good" conversation and rush out.

The stress of the holidays is self-induced and unnecessary. Make an effort this holiday to try not to conform to what everyone makes the holiday out to be. Appreciate it for what it is: a time to celebrate thanks, friends and family, and any religious affiliation you may have with the particular day. The illustrious Paul Simon once said, "Slow down, ya move too fast. Ya got to let the moment last." These are words we all need to remember throughout the year but even more so during the holidays.

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah.

Remember kids: Be well, do good work and always know your dealer.

Cheers,

Miles.

Now It's Time to Say Goodbye....

Well this either is or will be next to the last blog of the semester. Today is the last day of class for me. It has been an interesting semester. Partly because it was first class in over 12 years. Next because it was interesting to see how I could handle school, working and motherhood. I was always happy when we got out of class 20 or 30 minutes early because it meant I was able to get home before my son went to bed. I love my good night kisses from him !!! I've already registered for next semester and need to pinch some pennies so I can pay for that in the next month on top of squeezing in a Christmas gift or two. On top of school, work and motherhood, I've also had new discipleship classes at church on Saturday or Sunday since last month. So I've been busy. Hopefully in the end I will all be worth it....school and church.

So let's reflect for a moment, shall we. First I've had the wonderful opportunity to blog for the school. It's been a great experience. I have enjoyed reading posts from the "younger folks", as my mother says !!!! In case no one noticed, I'm the oldest blogger !! I have truly appreciated everyone that has followed me (especially Kimmie and Markeia and Ms. Brenda). Ya'll have been my biggest fans posting comments almost faithfully. Thank you ladies. And thanks mom for sharing with the ladies (and any gentleman !!) on your job. One day we're going to get you into an Internet literacy class !

Next I was able to enjoy some wonderful workshops offered here on campus. I took the PC to MAC 101 class offered by the Academic Resource Center. This was a really good workshop. I learned enough to get me started I think for my first computer class next semester. It surely has me interested in wanting to attending more classes. Just this past Saturday, I took the Introduction to HTML and HTML with Style workshops held in the Langsdale Library. Now this was truly fun. I've always been interested in learning how to design a website and this class was just what I needed. Intro to HTML was a great introduction to the language. It gave you the basics to get started and if I understood the instructor correctly, there are "cheat sheets" on the library's website. But he did give a few webpages that had links to shortcuts. I'm sure a book on HTML wouldn't hurt either. So over the winter break, I think I will try to create a basic webpage that has links to my blogs. But the best part about all three of these workshops? They were F-R-E-E......that's the best price of all !!!!! So take advantage of these workshops. We're students. This is our school. These services are here for us to utilize.

The only thing that didn't happen for me is making a new connection with anyone. There may be several reasons behind this one.... I only had one class and there was no group or partner assignments. Almost everyone in the class has already been enrolled in school for a semester or two. Two or three are graduating. Another two or three have other classes with each other. But it's all good. I'll have plenty of time to meet someone. I'll be here for the next 3-4 years !

So I just wanted to say thank you for following me. I will continue to keep you all posted on my progress as I try once again to earn a degree.

Have a safe holiday and to the students and other bloggers, good luck with next semester.

Peace, love and hairgrease (my college and DC friends will get that !!!)

from your girl Charlene

The "I'm finished with 16% of Law School" post

Hello all,

I am pretty sure this is either my last or nearly last blog post. I figured I would do a nice sum up, hopefully it won't be too long. Technically, I am 1/6 of the way done with law school, if you count by semesters. I do have a final later today and Friday, but whose counting? (That is sarcastic.)

Some things I have learned about law school and life:

1) Yes, in law school, to some extent your career is over before it starts.
Unfortunately, the best jobs are connected to the best internships and clerkships, which are connected to either Dad's Fishing Buddy, Mom's Brother in Law, or those in the top 10% of the class. There are work-arounds, and of course the best job for one person isn't the best for everyone, but it still is a fresh dose of reality to know doors are already closing.

2) Yes, law school exams ARE that bad.
Too much material, too many possible ways to approach each question, and it isn't even really a good test of "lawyer" skills.

3) Yes, UB law uses a grading curve.
My undergrad instituted a grading curve while I was a student there, so I have plenty of experience. All this does is hurt students.

4) Yes, UB is the best law school in Maryland.
I hang out at the other law school in Maryland's library because it is closer. I am SO GLAD that school rejected me and I went to UB. And it isn't because it is a bad school, in fact it is a great school (and they have a gorgeous library) but I think UB Law does it better.

5) Yes, adjunct and new faculty are bad for students.
I was spoiled by an undergrad that only have full professors teaching class. That all ended with my first semester of law school. My adjunct was never prepared for class, and always running by the seat of his pants. I wish I learned more, he was (supposed) to be teaching an important legal skill. I already know I am way behind my peers in this area. I also had a first year and second year faculty. The second year was fairly lost. The first year was lost too, but he put in 150% every day. Too bad for me that I got to "break him in" but the next classes he teaches will be getting a great education, because he obviously has what it takes.

6) Yes, UB Law has the best Law Professors.
At first I was upset that my contracts professor missed a week of classes early in the semester. He redeemed himself by making contracts interesting, pushing us to always be ready for class, and giving concise, detailed, and organized lectures. Also he missed class because he does contracts for some branch of the armed forces and was in Iraq for the week. There are tons of other stories about professors at UB Law really earning their salaries, but I won't bore you with the details.

7) Yes, getting old really isn't all that much fun.
Sometimes I just wish I could take a day off. My knees crack and pop when I go down the stairs in the morning. An all-nighter leaves me in actual pain the next day. I actually look forward to spending part of the weekend running errands.

8) Yes, family and friends are that important.
Sometimes you just can't do it on your own. Even for a loner like myself, I think I now understand the true importance of having supportive people in your life.

9) Yes, there is justice in the world.
I spent the two years before law school working as a social worker at the highest rated hospital in the United States for 12 years running. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, and left me jaded. It has been so nice to get outside of that. It is amazing, in law school, rules mean something. People admit when they don't know the answer. No one makes a decision without first thinking it through. Hard work gets recognized and rewarded.

10) Yes, Baltimore is a very racist city.
I love Baltimore, I moved here from far away and will live here the rest of my life, but we have a real problem getting along.

11) Yes, walking around Baltimore is unsafe.
Mostly because drivers don't obey the signs! Also, I was walking along Pratt Street yesterday, and a police officer waved myself and a woman across the street. She (the officer) did not bother blowing her whistle, or even signaling, to the driver who nearly killed the woman crossing next to me.
*This is meant to be lighthearted, Baltimore is pretty safe as long as you keep your head about you.

12) No, law school is NOT cutthroat like everyone makes it out to be.
Seriously. Yes, everything is decided by your class rank, but at the same time, I find my classmates nothing but supportive and helpful. Sure, there is the one guy who refuses to even say hello during exam weeks, but otherwise nothing but help from the other 99% of students.

Like I said, this may or may not be my last post this semester. If it is, then thank you all for reading. If it is not, then expect something like massive shout-outs next week.

Cheers all,
-Spencer

Decorating Now for the Holidays -- Have You Started?

I took out the tree and ornaments last week. I set up the tree but don't remember how to light it. Haven't put the ornaments on. The wreath was hanged up this past summer. I went all out last two years. The roommates never help.

It's different this year. These roommates don't really pay attention to what's going on nor are they that helpful or welcome to the ideas. So why bother? I don't and I'll do my own thing. It's like a contest in the neighborhood, who will have the best lights and decor? I'll be watching for them, taking a stroll, and driving in the neighbhorhood just to look at them.

Of course we are students and most of us don't care if we have to decorate. It would be a materialistic thing to even try to go all out unless you and your neighbors had some sort of agreement to compete. Haha!!

christmas is here, i think?

Well the Christmas holiday is near and its obvious with all the shopping, angry people, and pretty decorations everywhere. I am one of those last minute people who is shopping around December 23rd trying to get my entire family the gifts they all want, this is including my husbands family too. I know its nuts, why would I do that? The thing is believe it or not I hate shopping for gifts, and I am just too busy to get my huge family everything and might I add I really do not have the money. I have one brother and four sisters and every year I have suggested doing the whole names in the hat thing and for some reason I can never get any of them on board. Usually they say well I like to get each of you something it means a lot. Well to be honest my family just keeps growing, my sister just gave birth to her second child, and I have a niece who is 2 years old. So not only do I have to shop for Mom, Dad, sisters, brother, grandma, nieces, and nephew but my husbands family too. I must sound like the Grinch but I really would not care if I got nothing for the holidays. All I truly care about is spending it with my family. What do you do in a situation like this?

So does anyone have any nifty cheap gift ideas for me?

Why O Why?

I'm super sorry I'm late! I forgot all about blogging this morning! Please forgive me! Now that that's done, I want to blog today about something that isn't so nice but that is definitely true to life. Today, I think I'm gonna blog about people who never want to take responsibility for their actions. I'm sure you know at least one person like this, if not several. I can't stand people like this!! They really, really grind my gears. What is so hard about acknowledging the wrong you played in a situation, apologizing, and moving the hell on? I just don't get it! Even in minor situations, why is accepting responsibility so hard? How can you complain about how slow traffic is moving, when your expletive left out of the house late? Seriously! It's annoys me to no end. I don't like admitting I'm wrong any more than the next person but sometimes it's necessary to clean the slate for the next mistake. I wonder what I can do to not allow this particular issue to aggravate me so much but I can't seem to put my finger on a solution. Anyhow, I apologize to everyone who had to listen to me rant about one of my many pet peeves this morning. I promise next week's blog will be more jolly and on time! Have a great week everybody!

Present time passing

When [that] I was but a little tiny girl, back in the dim dead days of middle school, I was extremely fond of a series of bad but entertaining sword-and-sorcery books featuring a consumptive mage, a muscle-bound warrior, a half-elf, a collection of comic-relief characters, and a vividly depicted world full of dragons and magic and drama. At one point the mage creates (at great cost to himself) an object called the Globe of Present Time Passing, which he gives to the world's chronicler and historian Astinus in exchange for certain information. The Globe is an extraordinarily useful object which allows Astinus to see what is going on, now, all over the world, as it happens: in other fiction genres it would be some sort of technobabble-based faster-than-light communications or spying device, or perhaps just a metaphor. It's also an image that comes to mind more and more often these days, as time flashes past me faster and faster, as I age.

Everybody's saying things like 'the semester has flown by,' 'the month has flown by,' 'the year has flown by.' I can't really argue: each week seems to flicker past in a matter of hours, not days, structured by classes and the demands of work and homework. I keep reminding myself to think of the time as it passes, to be aware of what I'm doing and how I'm using my time, and constantly I get distracted by the need to complete some task or find some answer. It's so difficult to believe the term is nearly over when it honestly does seem that only last week I was wandering around Charles Street in sequined flats taking photographs for our first project in Creativity.

I know that the time has passed because I'm on the far side of it now according to the calendars: but it seems as if I can barely remember all the days and nights that have gone by since the last time I paused and took stock of things. Worst of all, I'm stalling on the work for my final projects with only a few days to go, relying on the unstructured space of the weekend to get me through, and this at least reminds me very much of undergrad classes. I could use a device that would show me present time passing, I think: if nothing else, it would be an excellent passive-aggressive motivational tool, since every time I looked into it I would be reminded that at that moment I wasn't getting any actual work done. Procrastination and palantirs are incompatible.

WHO'S THE BOSS ??

DEDICATED TO STEVE !!!!

So do you work really, really hard and all your hard work goes unnoticed? Or do you take a day off and your office falls apart? Well, that's how it is for me. I feel like I can't take one day off or my office falls apart. You leave notes or information about something and they waive everything for anybody, just come in with a sob story when I'm off and you're in. Now officially on paper I'm not the top boss around this camp, although Steve knows who runs things around here...me and homegirl Charlotte !!!!

Now today was quite funny, at least for me it was. I'm a Gemini and if you know a Gemini, you know we are strong willed people. We stand by our opinions and will not back down...even when wrong...ooooppps, did I type the "w" word????

Okay so Monday I got to go serve my lovely city as I was called for jury duty. Don't we all just love sitting, waiting all day to see if you catch a case! After being off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week, I did what any responsible worker would do. I let Steve and my licensing secretary know I had no pressing matters except one lady that was coming in and she knew what to bring. There lies the problem. I told her what to bring and they take anything !!!! First, the lady brings affidavits instead of actual class certificates then a notary (still love you B !!) makes money off of notarizing something that didn't need to be then I add the hours and say she's short a few....even went so much as to attach the tape from the calculator and told Steve, my boss, count them again. I was on a highly charged rant telling them (and loudly) how this is why I can't take a day off, nobody listen to me, you take anything people bring in...nobody in this office listens....nobody can read the law. So what does Steve say, "oh give her a break" My response...."I did, I gave her turkey time to digest and told her to come on Monday". So I just about throw these certificates at him.

The problem.....I counted wrong !!! Damn, there goes that "w" word again ! So wow, one time, one time, one day only Steve is right. By the way for those of you that REALLY know me, ya'll know typing these words "RIGHT" and "WRONG" are burning my fingers !! You know it would burn my tongue even more to have said them !! Especially after Steve tells me leave his office and he'll take his apology from out there...meaning so everybody that just heard me ranting could hear me say I was "wrong" !!! Are you serious?? Let me flip this script for you....I'm not saying any such words!!! It's not in my nature !!!! What I will do is bring up an incident where YOU were sooooo wrong that my one incident of being wrong still don't measure up. The scales are not balanced mister !!!!

And that I did !!! Reminded him of the one time, they wanted me to be good cop and help some poor soul along the way only for the poor soul to work all over my kindness and generosity and it blew up in their face cause the person didn't come through on their end. So this is my case to weigh all my wrong-doing (not that I'm ever wrong) on !! Ewwww....isn't that such a dirty word? Wrong....yuck... Leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Makes me want to go sanitize my hands after I post this !!!!!

So I hope Steve is happy now. I've have let all of University of Baltimore and a few of my dear blog supporters know, he can read and add !!! But I'm still not saying I was wrong.

Cause in case you didn't know I was BORN TO RUN (from admitting guilt that is, definitely not physcially !). Just like THE RIVER, my mouth runs always !!! I was BORN IN THE USA and love my freedom of speech !!!! As a Gemini, I lack that HUMAN TOUCH !!!!! I am THE RISING star of this office ! When I'm done with my rants, there's nothing left but DEVILS & DUST !!!! I am full of MAGIC and best of all I am WORKING ON A DREAM !! Cause what, I am "THE BOSS" !!!!

For those that haven't figured it out...the words in red are Bruce Springsteen albums !!

I think I only have a couple of more weeks of this blogging so until next week. Stay Blessed.

Finals

Hello all!

I hope this post finds you well! Those of us in law school are deep in the midst of finals right now. This post is going to be brief. Law school provides the added difficulty of studying for something that is, on its face, very simple. For example, take contracts. I look at the course outline, and I see Offer, Acceptance, and Consideration as three of the 18 topics.

Oh, offer, I know that! I think to myself.

Acceptance, that is easy too!

Great! But then you start to really look at it, go back to your class notes, and see that under offer you have Restatements 54, 55(1), 56, and 64. Now I am thinking, uh oh, I don't even remember what those are. So I look them up. And each is several lines of legal mumbo jumbp.

In five minutes I have gone from feeling on top of the world to rock bottom. And that is studying for law school exams.

The Accidental Protester

Ever had a day where you were bored? Wanting an adventure? Something out of the norm, intellectually stimulating, and energizing? So did I. Oh, so did I.

So, Boyfriend (points if you get this reference)--a.k.a. Lane--and I went down to the Inner Harbor on Monday. He headed to Water Street to check on a job and, because I didn't want to sit at home, I went into Filene's Basement (where, if I had any money at all, I would have bought copious amounts of things for myself and others).

While I'm trying on a winter coat that, in normal financial situations, is a steal I get a telephone call. Lane tells me to hurry outside for a parade. A parade?! That we didn't know about?! How exciting! I strip off the coat I cannot have and rush for the door. Standing at the balcony I watch as traffic keeps streaming by.

And I wait, finally calling him to be certain I am in the right place for this parade. Because... shouldn't traffic be blocked off for a parade? Then, I hear something. Drumming. Yes, that is definitely drumming. Here comes the parade!

Actually, it was a protest and I think they would prefer that it be called a march. One guy was wearing a handmade mountain on his head, there was a drummer, and they were all chanting. So, I take a picture. They are protesting mountain-top removal mining. Oh, hey, I--being from West Virginia, land of the mountaintops gone missing--know all about, and, yes, support what they are saying.

They are a stoic lot, marching by, oblivious to my shenanigans with a picture phone. Except for the last person in line, who is actually facing me instead of the road and flagging themselves as if I'm the guy operating the camera for the jumbo-tron at a sporting event. And, wait, this person even looks familiar.

Why, that's Lane! (And, yes, that is him too.
At right, with the signs!)

So I dash downstairs and run to catch up with the protest where he shoves a sign in my hand. He's of the "I jump, I drag you with me" school of relationships.

Apparently, while walking behind them to meet me one of the protesters gave him the signs and then abandoned the cause. That's right, handed off his homemade scene of destruction to come and his morals to a random stranger. Well, we couldn't very well put the signs down anywhere.

And, as I said, everyone was being very stoic--and marching fast in the rain, might I add.

We continue with the protest for a couple of blocks, me with my cell phone out and my I-had-an-interview-this- morning-and-did-not-dress-for-a-protest-clothes standing out from the long skirts and hand knit scarves that are earnestly marching in front of me.

But, who does the reporter approach as people begin spreading out on the grass in front of..oh, oh, they aren't just protesting mountain top removal, they are protesting Constellation Energy. And the reporter would like to know, from Lane and myself, what the plans for the protest are. Do we plan to walk around again? So, we confess. We aren't morally upright, involved citizens. We're gross consumers, over polite people from the south who got roped into the whole thing.

Meanwhile, my teeth are starting to chatter and my shoes are soaked through. Out comes the bullhorn and the boos. And we, we lay down our signs ever so gently and back slowly, slowly toward the sidewalk. It was as if we thought if we moved slowly, they wouldn't see us or our moral perfidy. Once at the sidewalk,we then do everything short of run in the opposite direction.
I imagine they were confused by our presence and then our abandonment. I hope they didn't curse us. I'm also a little upset that my first real protest lasted about 5 minutes and was not at all planned--on my part anyway, the actual protesters seemed very organized.

Of course, this is what I love about UB and living in the city.Now, to you city natives, I am about to sound like the wide-eyed, small town girl I will likely always be--at least a little. See, on any given day in my small town I can say, with reasonable authority, there will be no protests or parades that do not have proper town participation. I can also say I will not accidentally participate in said protest or parade, or be questioned by reporters about it.

Which is unfortunate. I think everyone should have an Accidental Protest story. It could make for a really cool party theme.

Three things I found this week: Wear good walking/water proof shoes to a protest. Thanksgiving leftovers taste even better when you made the meal yourself. And, Filene's Basement has kickin' deals.

Three things I still need to find: A job! I decided not to take that position I interviewed for (which, ironically, was to Save the Harbor by walking door to door from 2p.m.-10p.m. everyday). A really good convertible couch--apparently our recent house guests are not enamored of our cement floor. And, a real, planned participation protest!

Being a people magnet

There's humor in everything we do -- for a reason.

We are naturally a magnet for others and I wonder why.

When you are sitting in the car doing something, why do people tend to walk in your direction right next to you? Same with the opposite direction. Does it mean we are suppose to help them if they get mugged? Out of fear we may not open the door nor help them (bystander/witness). Why do they also look at you? They know your business is none of theirs.

You are about to open the door and enter the premises when a person opposite walking towards the door...they cut you off and go out w/o a glance back while you "held the door". You really held the door for you. This is annoying! I've now used other doors and shifted myself to surprise these selfish people. Argh.

Why don't people flush the toilet? I think people don't care about their mess and leave it to others' horrors. About every time I go to Cinemark (formerly Muvico), I go through about 10-15 stalls to find a clean toilet and adequate tissue.

On the Metro, a person sits on a seat but on two seats with one their backpack and one them. It's packed and when that person sees you they don't move over. Argh.

When people stare, some are so rude, they think it's necessary and when you look back they give you a disdaining or funny look. Guess they acting pretentious. I might have to put hands on my hips, turn in my seat, and bat lashes repetitively next time.

Why do we want to help others who need help with their problems? Do we have a problem that concurs or resonates with them? If so, it is not our duty to solve their problems, we may give advice if they accept. Don't force it even if you are great friends with them. I've learned my lesson.

What are your thoughts? Are their things people do that you find annoying?

I'm getting ultra excited...

Because the semester is so close to its end, I can taste it! So many hours of toiling over assignment after assignment, wrecking your brain to get the right answer, and visiting nearly every coffee shop in Baltimore City for free Wi-Fi is almost over! Well, at least until next semester. Still, there's a extra sense of accomplishment because I might actually do well in a class that I despise(d) this fall semester in its entirety! Plus, for one whole month I can party like a really low budget rockstar (I'll probably go out on the town only twice... lol) and not feel like I have better, more important things to do. Isn't life grand? However, what's really demented about my mind is that I actually wish there were winter classes so that I could cram one in and be one step closer to earning my degree. I'm just a sick puppy all around. I'm super happy school is ending but a piece of me wishes I could do it all over again in a condensed version. Anywho, I would like to take this blog opportunity to congratulate all the other students who stuck with this semester and are going feet first into the next one! We almost did it! So guys & dolls, you know I'll be back with an even more excited blog when we finish. I can't wait to write it! Keep up the good work and keep your eyes on the prize!

THANKSGIVING

Well I missed Thursday but just briefly to update thanksgiving went well. It started off a little rough with my discovery of two meats to be cooked.....long story. But I ended up cooking the turkey and putting the ham in the freezer. We also had all the other good stuff ...cranberry sauce, yams, cabbage, sundried tomato mashed potatoes, rolls, chocolate cake with chocolate icing and sweet potatoe pie. Needless to say a sister was TIRED. No black Friday specials for me. Had to watch the little one. For real I'm not even in the mood for the holidays. But that too is another story. Well I'm prepping my bag for my day of jury tomorrow. I know my state ID won't get me through security with the mayor being in the house. Got to stand in line and go through the line like everyone else :( oh well I guess I'll be writing my paper in the quiet room. Ugghhh the one thing I hate about school ..,.papers. Well until my official blog day Thursday...stay blessed.

Thanksgivings

So I'm not from here; I'm a lawful permanent resident, or Green Card holder, or resident alien, whichever you want to call it (IMMIGRANT, even), and my whole family save myself and my parents is across the Atlantic in England. We don't do your standard Thanksgiving with the football game and the marshmallowed yams and the traditional argument about what Doug said about Sharon in 1986 and whether Mom really wanted Barb to have the fish-slice or if it should have gone to Candace instead. We don't even have that cranberry glop that comes in a can and is extracted in one corrugated cylinder of jelly.

What we generally do is go to somebody else's house for Thanksgiving, someone who Cooks, and we bring a dish. This year, though, we did it at home, and the menu included roast lamb, roast and mashed potatoes, broccoli and cauliflower, asparagus and prosciutto, and the Magic Lemon Pudding which I made this year and which came out surprisingly edible notwithstanding.

It's a little surprising to me how much it actually meant to have a Proper Holiday with my parents at home, rather than at one of our friends' houses; how much it meant to borrow my dad's ancient apron with pigs printed all over it and argue about how to separate eggs and whether one should or should not attempt to re-make the cheese sauce since the milk might possibly have been a little past its best, and quote the Goon Show to one another and laugh like drains. After dinner we walked around the block and then had the dessert, and now I'm typing this at the dinner-table on my MacBook which I will need to use later tonight to do homework for my one class and research homework for the other.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that although this is not a Traditional Thanksgiving it feels like what a Thanksgiving should be: a shared experience with one's well-loved relatives, appreciating how lucky one actually is despite how often it feels otherwise, enjoying good food and good company and togetherness.

I hope all of you out there are sharing this enjoyment, and that the holiday treats you right.

Holiday Shopping, or Zombie Watch

Last week Larry Doyle came and read as part of the M.F.A. reading series. One of his pieces was about zombies in the mall. I thought this was funny.

And only funny.

On Monday, I encountered the truth. This was not a piece of fiction. This is, in fact, how local malls keep their employee numbers up. Don't believe me? You will.

See, I'm the girl that loves the holidays. I can't wait until the Christmas music is up, the decorations are in every store, and no matter what time of what day you head in every store is busy, busy, busy. In fact, in previous years I have purposely saved my shopping until the week of and, brace yourselves, I like that last Christmas Eve rush to get what you need.

Last year was the first year I began to see signs of zombification, however, and did not thus enjoy my usual last minute shopping with as much intensity. This year, not even Thanksgiving, Black Friday has yet to arrive, and all ready I have had an Encounter.

So, I dragged the boy--Lane--out on Monday morning for a date. We were armed with gift cards to Olive Garden (my mom is concerned about my ability to cook for us) and, yes, a plan to see that cinematic classic (yes, I am being ironic) New Moon (yeah, okay, I like the Twilight Saga, pretend we saw something else if you must).

So, we head into the mall while waiting for eleven o'clock to roll around. At one of the holiday set ups where one can purchase board games, puzzles, and calendars we were dripped on, repeatedly. When the girl working the mini-store came around Lane smiled and stopped her with a gesture toward the water streaming from the ceiling and splashing into a puddle that was getting big enough to swim in.

"Hello," he said, "I don't know if you realize this, but there's a really terrible leak. You might want to call someone to do something about--"

She stopped just inches from the accidental water feature. "Hello." She finally looked up from the Rubick's Cube in her hand, blinking blankly behind her oversize glasses. "How are you today?" Each word was a struggle, drawn slowly out of her gaping mouth--an expression that someone less astute might have misconstrued for a vague smile. "Can I help you with anything?"

Lane, sensing the danger, simply shook his head and pulled me away. Because, of course, though she could mimic actual human interaction, he knew that in moments that gaping mouth would open yet wider and she'd lunge forward moaning, "Brains!"

This must be some sort of human rights cause. I know recent movies have jokingly referred to keeping zombies as servants--or perhaps subversively revealed the truth about what is all ready happening. But, I have to say, I miss the days when I felt safe walking into a store, where I wouldn't immediately be attacked by, "Can I help yous?" that then followed me into the dressing room, dragging clothes off racks as if they were really trying to help dress me and not munch on my flesh.

Or, like my recent encounter, the times when I wouldn't be stared at from empty eyes and no matter what my query only nodded at, as if her head had all ready been partially severed by another person in the know but, sadly, not successful in his or her own escape attempt.

Just consider this your friendly holiday shopping warning. It is a dangerous world out there and behind the vacant eyes of a mall worker could lurk something infinitely more dangerous: the vacant eyes of a brain starved zombie.

Happy Holidays!

Three things I found this week: The Lovely Bones was an amazing, heart breaking read. They have created a Star Trek phaser. And, I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner. (Yeah, what?)

Three things I still need to find: How to cook Thanksgiving dinner. Ipecac. Just in case. And oven mitts that extend past the elbow.

Life Insurance

I should be penalized for being late. It's my memory. Alas, here I am.

I didn't know what I was signing into beginning in 2004.

My mother who is controlling say it would be good for me and would do her a nice favor if I signed the contract for a term life policy.

The policy doesn't return any money if at any point it gets terminated. It covers death benefits for the term. It is not a whole life insurance. Premiums are to be paid monthly.

As years gone by I started to have a different stance on it. I picked up one of Suze Orman's financial books and read it top to bottom. It tells me I don't need the insurance because I'm not married, healthy and financially secured.

However my mother has been paying the monthly premiums. The agent who sold it to us visited our home, I remember, and said it is important that I have it. I called him one day while I lived in MD and said I want to cancel the policy. He did not honor my request and acted like my feelings were nothing, talked about how he lost someone in his family, and said it's not a good idea. We argued. I can see clearly I look like dollar signs to him and my mother.

I let it go for a few more years. This year, I give my mother no right, to help with the premiums.

Instead of calling the agent whom I think acts like a Mao-ist, I call the insurance headquarters and spoke with a different agent. He said I write to them about the request. I did. This week I get no reply letter and instead a statement requesting two months ahead payments.

The first thing I did is to keep the statement but don't pay them for 31 days. I should get a warning letter after this stating the policy has lapsed or terminated. It may be reinstated with good reason. I'm not going to reinstated so by then my mother would lost all her money which I will be paying back.

I don't want anyone to think that she is correct that my death is worth money. God forbid, my older brother thinks I should stay on it just b/c he too is on it. What has this world come to? This is the reason I am terminating it for good. I am a human being and my family doesn't think so. This has been on my mind for some time now, I can rest easy next month once it's over.

Do not get life insurance or be forced on it unless you are married and have dependents (kids), think you will be prone to sickness later on, or have some valid reasons why. It's not worth it right now, doesn't matter how cheap it is, policies just sell based on the individual needs and desires.

THANKSGIVING

This thursday is a day of thanks. But do we all really know what it means to be thankful? I know that sounds like a silly question to ask but some people believe it or not do not know the true meaning of this word. We also seem to forget what the thanksgiving holiday really is about and why we all gather as families and enjoy a thanksgiving meal together. Thanksgiving marks the remembrance of the pilgrims who crossed the ocean from Europe to make a new start. It is also the day we give thanks to our god for his blessings and mercies towards us throughout the year. I am thankful for all the great things that have come my way this year such as my wedding, husband, marriage, new friends, job, family, and home. Sometimes a quick thought about someone other than ourselves is all it takes to remind us to be thankful for what we have and who we are. So what are you thankful for this year?

It's Almost Turkey Day!!

There are tons of things to be done in this short little week. While I'm bum rushing some other person's Thanksgiving festivities thanking God that I don't have to cook since I can't, I'm still left with homework assignments, double work assignments, parties, and of course sleeping! Oh yes, this little week shall be very, very busy. However, for all the things that could make one a little salty about this week: 1) crazy relatives, 2) coworkers who are MIA, and 3) the nuttiness of Black Friday, there are so many things to be thankful for. Now, I'm not going to list my items that I'm grateful for, however, I will say that I'm most thankful for seeing another year as so many people weren't able to have that opportunity. Where would this world be without my silliness to spread around?! At any rate, everybody enjoy Turkey Day and be thankful you got to see another one!!

The benefits of boredom

One of the more unutterably delightful aspects of my existence right now is the fact that without warning I am liable to be roped into sitting through interminable "webinars" on various aspects of asking people for money. Generally when this happens I am required to take notes on the presentations, which means I get to bring a notebook along with me, and this is where the benefits of boredom come in.

About an hour into the presentation this morning I found myself doing math for fun out of sheer soul-killing ennui. My arithmetic skills are on par with those of a standard gastropod, but I can do really basic algebra, and after doodling some functions it occurred to me that you can tell whether the graph of a function is going to be linear by looking at the function itself, and that if you want to have a complex wiggly line on your graph you are going to have to do some interesting messing about with calculus of the sort I don't know how to do. Drawing complex wiggly lines on the graph made me think about sinewaves, and how alternating current is depicted, and then how rectification of alternating current to direct current is depicted, and that brought me back to a conversation I had last night with a classmate.

One of the stories I've written for my workshop this semester features vacuum tubes of various types as a theme, including everybody's favourite lightbulb-with-legs, the Cooper-Hewittic mercury-arc rectifier. A nutty character collects vacuum tubes in the story, and her pride and joy is a 150-6G six-phase MAR. I was explaining what one of these does, and somehow got into a lengthy explanation on how vacuum tubes in general work, and when I'd finally run down I was asked "Why do you know all this?"

Mostly because of last week's post: research is for fun. Also because when I see something cool I want to know how it works, and this means that I need to do considerable lookings-up and then askings of people who know more than I do--but even with the math, physics, and engineering background of a whelk Ican learn about them, and understand them, and enjoy knowing things.

When I'm bored I get especially creative, too; I'll make up stories or twist bits of notebook paper into twine and braid them or draw genealogical charts of the various families inhabiting my fiction, but I think today was the first time I've been sufficiently bored to do math without being prompted. I think this is probably either very sad or rather deep, and I can't quite work out which.

BE THANKFUL

So it's Wednesday and as usual I am starting my Thursday blog. Although next Thursday is Thanksgiving, I will still be posting my blog as usual. Governor O'Malley has told me thank you and given us hard-working State employees a furlough day so I won't be busy on next Wednesday !!! But I'm guessing, you all will be with your families so I will use this week to share moments of thanks. Thank you Bianca for suggesting....even if you don't post your comments !!!


I'm 34 and I have quite a bit to be thankful. Probably a lot more than I will try to list here but here goes. Some are truly more important than others, some are simply personal to me. In today's economy, with rising gas prices, foreclosures, lay-offs, we need to just sit back and reflect on the little stuff. What sustains you?



I AM THANKFUL (and truly blessed) ....

*First and foremost for the Heavenly Father that gave me life and put me in this place to even be able to write for you all.

*Next for the wonderful parents I have. I couldn't (and wouldn't) ask for any other parents. Daddy passed away on May 24, 2008 but I am thankful for every single day he was MY DADDY !!!

*My sister passed on June 10, 2001 but I am thankful for the years she was alive and the laughs we had cause they left good memories for me. I am thankful that unlike many people in this world, we didn't have a hateful relationship because I'm not left wishing I had said anything to her or wanting to take back anything I said to her. She knew I loved and I know she loved me.

*I 'm thankful for my friends. As I wrote in an earlier blog, my friends know they are absolutely special to me. They are always there to support me, encourage me, hug me, wipe away my tears and I try to be there to do the same for them.

* I'm thankful for the people I meet through my friends. Through Tonyia and Keisha, I met Bianca and Carlise. Through Nee Nee, I met Glory and Fassi, through Tara, I met Sheryn.

*I am thankful this semester is almost over.

*I'm thankful for my cooking skills !!! I know so many people that can't !!!

*I'm thankful my husband know how to cook too...he can do it when I don't feel like it.

*I'm thankful for my new doctor at Johns Hopkins. I have hope now.

*I'm thankful for this second chance at getting a degree. Looks like it will take four years going part-time, but at least I'm trying again.

*I'm thankful my car starts in the morning...1993 Pontiac with 182,000 miles...whew !!!

*I'm thankful for being able to own my own home, even if it does comes with bills and responsibilities.

*I'm thankful for my aches and pain cause it means I woke up this morning. I know everyone says that but really. I have two auto-immune diseases that can be debilitating but I still am able to work.

*I'm thankful for all the sacrifices my parents made. It helps me to appreciate what I have now.

*I'm thankful for all the tears I have shed in my life. They cleanse my soul and help me to move on. They bring out the laughter that's trapped in me.

*I'm thankful for the relationships I've had for they have all taught me something. I've used them as learning experiences.

*I'm thankful my friends look forward to this blog each week.

I could go on and on picking small things I am thankful for but I won't. As I get older, the small stuff is enough to make me happy....at least I'm trying to believe that !!! I know someone will feel neglected...saying dag, I helped her do such and such....I gave her money for lunch (thanks Steve and John) ....I gave her a ride to school (thanks Linda, Kathie and Lu !!!!) but you know I still got love for you all. I thank each and every one of you for whatever it is you have done for me. As you approach next's week's holiday be sure to just thank you to somebody, anybody.

By the way, if you're cooking and invite me over....I'll say Thanks !!!!

Smash Records and Grab Gold

Apology:

I need to first and foremost make a few comments about my post last week. When writing for this blog I try to walk a fine line between wearing the cloak of anonymous blogger that few people at UB know personally and promoter of a random blog that none of my friends have much interest in but whom all happen to be in tune with my personal life. Last week I completely failed at that. I made more people that I truly care about angry than I'd care to mention and for that I can't say enough about how sorry I am. The only reason I write is for shits and giggles so please don't take offense to it.

The Background:

It's that point in the semester where I feel like it's way too cliche for me to be bitching about classes. Yes, I have way too much school work to do and yes, I don't have enough time to do it. But ya know what? So do you. I'd love to sit here and try to relate to your academic problems but I'd rather get your mind off of school and make you use your noggin for a second - lord knows your classes don't do that.

Because I've been so stifled by schoolwork, my creative mind hasn't had much time to think about what I actually care about. Thus, as of about 2 hours ago, I didn't have a single topic that was personally relevant enough to inspire a rant. After sitting, uninspired, in front of my laptop aimlessly pecking at keys for an hour or so I decided to head to Turps with the roomie for a little liquid inspiration. While sitting at the bar, making mindless conversation, I got a text from one of my boys which jolted my mind back into reality.

As I've said before, I can be biggest, worthless-to-society party animal there is (yin) OR the most inspired-to-positively-impact-the-world-around-me guy there is (yang.)

If all goes according to plan I will be graduating in May (just a shade under a decade and no, I will not be doctor.) Accordingly, I'm making plans as to what I'm going to be doing with myself when I'm finished with the old undergrad. Fortunately, I have many opportunities available to me when I graduate. Unfortunately, the easiest opportunities for me to take advantage of aren't necessarily my first options.

Plan B (the logic of seizing the moment):

I am an entrepreneur at heart. It's something that comes naturally to me and when I get excited about an entrepreneurial endeavor it's hard to take my focus away from that. Recently I have been afforded the opportunity to work for a friend who has done very well for himself with several small businesses. I could easily see myself working under him, learning the ropes of running a business and eventually starting up my own small venture.

Likewise, I've been very interested in real estate lately. Over the summer I was afforded the opportunity to be a project manager for a house that was to be put on the market. My job was to get the house ready to sell. I was given a certain amount of money and told that I needed to get x, y and z projects completed on time and under budget. This gave me a taste of the type of freedom and responsibility that I enjoy in a job.

One of my very close boys, since middle school, is considering buying a house here soon. He has the money to invest so he wants to buy in this down market but he also plans on traveling for the next year+. It happens to work out that I have experience with rehabbing/renovating houses, project management, financial/budget management and will be finished with school and looking for work at the same time he needs to have someone to do all of the above for him. We are currently in the midst of working out a deal where he will buy the house, leave town according to plan and I will be his property manager.

If none of the above works out I might just have to get a 9-5 (please don't tell anyone that I actually wrote this, it's a bad word where I come from) in the field that I am interested in - sustainability consulting - and slave away with the rest of the working population.

Plan A (go big or go home):

Though I would likely have a relatively fulfilling life if I ran with one of the above options there is something inside me that is resisting - "Miles, this is not what we agreed upon, what happened to your dreams?"
I've always envisioned that when I graduated I would go travel the world and experience what it has to offer. The first six months following graduation I won't have any loans to pay off. I will be a young, spry, 24 year old guy with no one to answer to and the world by the short'n'curly's. Will there be a better time to travel and do what I want to do than now?

My dreams to save the world through social entrepreneurship aren't local, they're global. How can I really improve the world by hanging around the same people in the same town with the same ideas? Shouldn't I at least completely uproot myself and go out in search of the movers and the shakers?

I am a firm believer in opening up all the doors of opportunity that life has to offer - ya never know which one you'll be interested in stepping through down the road, right? I read the Wall Street Journal. Anytime I see a big name mentioned in the journal that name is typically followed by a Ph.D., M.B.A., J.D. or M.S. If I am really to keep all of my opportunity doors open, shouldn't my name be followed by a fancy acronym?

Tony Robbins "Do the Damn Thing" Rant:

I'm a big subscriber to the "shoot for the moon" philosophy. No one ever accomplished anything great by settling for what they were given. I've been accused in the past of being a 'dreamer' - I have my head in the clouds and don't live in a realistic world. I say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I may not have a conventional viewpoint but I think that conventional wisdom leads to mediocrity. Societal norms are stifling.

Somewhere along the line it became legit to settle for Plan B: I did just what they told me to do. I went to college, picked a degree that they said I'd make money at, I got a job they said would support a family, I found a husband/wife to raise a family, I bought a house. . . You've heard it before. What do YOU want? What makes YOU happy?

Quit listening to the people around you and figure out what it is that makes you happy - and if that's appeasing those around you take a deeper look. Find someone that you admire, someone that you think is truly successful and make them your mentor. When you need advice, turn to them. When you are feeling like you're aimlessly drifting, turn to them. Make it a point to take them out to lunch once a month just to keep in touch. Whatever you do, please don't do what you think everyone else thinks is best for you.

Remember kids: Be well, do good work and always know your dealer.

Cheers,

Miles.

Small Town Snobs, a rant

So, does anyone else come from a small town? Because I do and while there is much that I miss--tacos in a bag at all town festivities, for one--I have other things that I certainly don't. Not being able to go out in my pajamas without someone seeing and commenting. The twenty minute drive to buy a book. The 35 m.p.h. speed limit. And, yeah, that everything is closed by ten and there only food on delivery is pizza.

And, of course, the one that prompted this rant. Earlier this week I was reminded of a pervasive attitude in my family and random strangers from my hometown. Of course, I don't claim this phenomenon to be limited to small towns, only to say I have only experienced it there. What is it? Well, the absolute derision that comes with my college degree.

So, my sister and I are the only grand kids to thus far go to college on my mother's side. (Siblings of my mother's have, however, received degrees.) Somehow, this is threatening. I have a cousin who once told me that college graduates are lacking in common sense. It was unfortunate to him that I didn't know how to fix a sink or change my oil. Upon my sister's pointing out that if she wanted to she could learn, but she'd much rather pay to have someone do it--hence the pharmacy doctorate--there was much scoffing. When we also pointed out that he had to learn to work on his car/plumbing/electric, to take classes or apprentice or be taught somehow, so the knowledge he was speaking of was similarly specialized and acquired, thus not common, there was also much denying.

This week, like at many other times in my life, it was reiterated to me that without holding a degree person-x probably knows a great deal more than I do. I never claimed to believe that I hold all knowledge--although, if I did that would be a great title: Holder of All Knowledge. I'd feel like a character in Lois Lowry book.

And then I was quizzed. This is my particular pet peeve. The person in question is an awesome guy, very smart, very well read where his interests lean. I enjoyed listening to him talk, but when he pop quizzed me on who created the first steam engine, I wanted to hop up on the table and give the world a lecture on this assumption that I think I know everything. (I couldn't remember the name, so offered up Stanton as a possibility. Correct answer: Robert Fulton. I will likely never forget again.)

And this is not the first time. At a yard sale prior to my move, a random old guy started quizzing me, then lecturing me, on grammar. I won't begin to relate the innumerable instances that occurred while I was working at a museum. (People were appalled that I didn't know who Motherwell was. He'd just never, to date, come up in a book I was reading.) Or the many family functions at which I have been accosted and quizzed.

But, hey, my degree is in English Literature. I'm pursuing an M.F.A. and while I like history enough to have gotten a minor I don't regularly read biographies or academic text. I do watch the History channel, but usually when it's about Nazis. (I'm terrified of Nazis in a phobic kind of way. I blame my mother for this. She was always pointing out how I fit the profile to be interred or that I matched some serial killers victim profile. It was her strange way of reminding me to be careful.) I also love Shark Week, but can I tell you anything more than how to avoid and, if unavoidable, react in a shark attack? No.

I'm okay with not knowing. I don't presume because you don't have some alphabets after your name that you aren't smart. But, one day, oh one day, I'm going to finally have enough of their snobbery. Because, yup, that's what it is.

Yes, I am not unaware that some form of feelings of inadequacy are going into this, but I didn't create/foster/exacerbate them--at least not with anything other than earning a B.A. and going for a second degree.

As a heads up, I also can't name the presidents in order, I have no idea which band is playing on the radio at any given time (I answer Joe Walsh to all music related questions), I can't change the oil in my car and I'm not positive where to add anti-freeze, I freeze when I have to do math in public (despite having always taken and done well in higher math classes), I read romance novels, the only thing I currently remember about trig is the sin/cosin song, and I once forgot how to spell address in a spelling bee (that public fear thing again).

As Tina Fey would say: Blerg.

Three Things I Found This Week: I am not a drinker. I really, really want some taco in a bag. And, I hate being late--sorry this post is about 45 minutes after the fact. (I had written one and tossed it in lieu of irritation.)

Three Things I Still Need to Find: My inner visual artist. The wherewithal to finish Crime and Punishment, once and for all. And, finally, lumpia, my favorite food.

The Tale of the Tape

Well, here it is, Wednesday, and I am not too sure what to write. So I present to you a sports style match up of some themes that are hopefully relevant to readers of this here fine blog.

ROUND 1: WORK
Law School: 20 page papers that need to be edited down to 8.
Undergrad: 2 page papers -> format margins ->font=courier new-> five page papers.
Real World: Varies, but likely not very long.

Advantage: Undergrad, unless you have morals, then work.

ROUND 2: HOURS
Law School: 9 am to 2 am
Undergrad: 2 pm to 3 am
Real World: 9 to 5 (or 8 to 4 to avoid traffic)

Advantage: Undergrad. Seriously.

ROUND 3: Parties!
Law School: None, until you finish your final at 11 am, your entire class goes straight to the bar and then no one remembers anything past 3 pm.
Undergrad: Tuesday through Sunday. Plus Monday night Football.
Real World: Housewarming... Pot Luck Dinner... BACHELOR!

Advantage: Push. Undergrad is pretty amazing, but a little self destructive. Real World ranges from painful to epic. Law School makes up for lack of frequency with intensity and self destruction.

BONUS ROUND: PARTY THEMES!
Law School: CIV PRO IS OVER!!!
Undergrad: Men wear silly hats, women wear lingerie. (It's a pretty tame picture)
Real World: Everyone bring a food dish that starts with the letter B!

Advantage: Undergrad. Seriously, silly hats and lingerie. My Oscar the Grouch Fuzzy Visor is one of the few possessions I truly wish made it through college. I miss him a lot more than say, my dignity, which was also lost during undergrad.

ROUND 4: Dating Rituals
Law School: Dating? Yeah right, I have cases to read, a memo to write, plus I need to work on my oral arguement, and most people in the class are already working on outlines, do you know if there is a new reading online? Oh, I need to apply for that internship, I have to get some transcripts ready.
Undergrad: Weird drunk hookups and probably at least one heart wrenching break up.
Real World: Oh, THIS is what our parents talk about when they reminisce about dating.

Advantage: Real World.

ROUND 5: Free Time
Law School: Catching up on work.
Undergrad: Napping, video games, substance abuse.
Real World: Bed Bath and Beyond, Home Depot, Giant, Yard Work

Advantage: Undergrad. I still don't know how my roommates and I wasted so much time.

ROUND 6: Neurotic Behaviors
Law School: Playing "will I get cold called in class" roulette.
Undergrad: Spending an entire weekend playing video games and sleeping.
Real World: Trying to remember if you turned off the lights, locked the door, and turned down the heat before you left.

Advantage: Law School. It's really not so bad once it happens. And undergrad just hurts your sense of accomplishment.

ROUND 7: Big Decisions
Law School: Do I work in a large firm making bank and never seeing sunlight, or do I work in government or public interest and retain some sanity while earning considerably less?
Undergrad: Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheesier?
Real World: Who do I spend the rest of my life with?

Advantage: Law School. You have already made the worst decision of your life by choosing to attend, so after that everything is cake.

ROUND 8: Classmates/co-workers
Law School: I only see mortal enemies standing in my way of a good class rank. And that one kid who always takes off his shoes during class.
Undergrad: A wide variety of interesting and well rounded people, most of whom you will only talk to while both of you are drunk.
Real World: Office gossip, office flirt, office dress code violator, Mr. Too Much Cologne, the Brown Noser, and Too Loud Phone Talker.

Advantage: Law School. Honestly, at least everyone knows where they stand.

BOUNS ROUND: BEST FRIEND!!!
Law School: A Columbian Guy in a Sombrerro with a Burro.
Undergrad: Whichever roommate you aren't fighting with that week.
Real World: Rover.

Advantage: Your family.

ROUND 9: Highlight of the Week
Law School: Friday! Now I have all night, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday to study!
Undergrad: What does it matter, you are going to do the same things regardless of the day.
Real World: TGIF. They even named a restaurant after it.

Advantage: Law School. Real World weekends rarely live up to their expectations. Law School ones are a chance to take your time and savor your work.

ROUND TEN: Hopes, Dreams, and Desires:
Law School: Please let me get 1 point higher so I can move up in my class rank!
Undergrad: What the **** am I going to do with my life?
Real World: Spouse, Job, House, 2.5 kids, dog, retirement plan

Advantage: Real World (But then again I am 25)

Scores so far:
Law School: 4
Undergrad: 3
Real World: 2

FINAL ROUND: What you get at the end of it all:
Law School: A top notch legal education, a chance to take part in the most fundamental parts of American life, jealous looks at your high school reunion,
Undergrad: A decent scholastic education, several hangover cures, lasting friendships, and a real understanding of who you really are.
Real World: A chance to look back on it all with your friends and family by your side, time to relax and enjoy, a deeper understanding of life, humanity, and God.

Some Notes
*I know I made everything into gross caricatures of what they really are.
*This is by far the most time I have spent on a post to date.
*You can feel free to insert your own spiritual being for God.
Enjoy the links.