Being assigned to the Friday slot for the UB summer blog got me started thinking about Fridays and I realized how the way I think of the day has fluctuated a lot over the years.
When I was a kid, I kind of dreaded Fridays. For me, a weekend at home with my family could be unpleasant. My stepfather was an alcoholic, prone to violent outbursts when he was on a "binge" so the calm and predictable rituals of the schoolday were always preferable. My husband grew up in a similar environment, and we both think we loved school, partly because it was so much better than being at home. We've sometimes joked that we didn't make our daughters miserable enough at home, since they didn't share our passion for academics.
When the girls were pre-schoolers, I looked forward to Fridays because my husband would be home to play with the four of us. Then, when the three girls started school, I returned to work, part-time at first. As my job grew to become a full-time position, I began to cherish Fridays, because I really missed the time with my family that being a stay-at-home mom had afforded me.
By the time the trio of estrogen-supercharged teenagers were reaching junior high age, weekends became more stressful, so Friday lost some of its allure. Then, my husband and I forged a battle plan -- date night -- and the day returned to its place of honor on our calendars.
As the girls have grown up and moved into their independent lives, we still practice "date night" on Fridays. Now, though, instead of serving to escape the shrill cacaphony of young female voices competing for attention, we do it in order to find some specific dedicated time during the week to just listen to and talk with each other -- "face time" as my husband calls it. As his career has led him to more responsibility and my academic pursuits have become more challenging, we find that "date night" is just as vital now in nurturning our relationship as it was when it felt like we were up to our eyeballs in the demands of parenthood.
So, yeah, I really like Fridays nowadays, but I still have pretty vivid memories of those childhood days when Fridays were not to be looked forward to. That probably has a lot to do with the focus of my academic and career goals being to work to help people improve the quality of their family lives and relationships.
What about you? Have you had life changes that made Fridays more or less desireable? I'd love to hear about your experiences.
Friday, May 29, 2009
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4 comments:
Hi Lynne,
I loved this post. It's not often we take time to think about what makes our days special since we are always running, running, running. For me, Friday is of course the end of the work week...and is usually the one night per week I don't let myself do any school work. If I don't have plans with my boyfriend to see a movie or have dinner, my evening includes some wine and netflix or, on special occasions, a night out dancing with my girfriends. Whatever I end up doing, my sentiment is the same week after week: TGIF!
Lynn, We have two teenage sons (19 & 17), and during the last year, my husband and I have finally found date night again. Like you and your husband, we find Friday to be an excellent time to wind down and take some time for our relationship. It's done wonders for us both.
This was so touching, Lynn--thanks for sharing! Fridays for me are happy hour days, shaking off the stress of the work (and school) week to have a few hours of social release with my friends.
Oddly I was recently thinking about my Friday evolution. Funny your post is about just that.
When I was an undergrad, Friday started out as being the weekend kick off. When I realized that didn't work too well with good grades, I gave up my Friday parties and often found myself stuck in a library computer carrel while sharing answers/hints to chemistry equations with strangers from other chemistry classes. That sophomore awakening carried through the rest of school.
After graduation, Fridays reverted a bit to partying. Several of us rented a townhouse in downtown Northampton, MA across the street from the local brewery/restaurant. Too bad we weren't making enough money then to go whenever we wanted but it was an awesome experience. Responsibilities hadn't started to mount up, and work wasn't taxing.
Eventually, the "adult life" kicked in and I began a much tamer weekend existence.
Nowadays I laugh because it may be more financially feasible to go out after work but by the time I get to Fridays, I am otherwise spent! A sort of reversal of fortunes.
Don't get me wrong. When class and work loads aren't overwhelming, I've been known to be seen at Dionysus or Brewer's on a Friday night. ;)
It's funny thinking about how things change through the years.
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