Small Town Snobs, a rant

So, does anyone else come from a small town? Because I do and while there is much that I miss--tacos in a bag at all town festivities, for one--I have other things that I certainly don't. Not being able to go out in my pajamas without someone seeing and commenting. The twenty minute drive to buy a book. The 35 m.p.h. speed limit. And, yeah, that everything is closed by ten and there only food on delivery is pizza.

And, of course, the one that prompted this rant. Earlier this week I was reminded of a pervasive attitude in my family and random strangers from my hometown. Of course, I don't claim this phenomenon to be limited to small towns, only to say I have only experienced it there. What is it? Well, the absolute derision that comes with my college degree.

So, my sister and I are the only grand kids to thus far go to college on my mother's side. (Siblings of my mother's have, however, received degrees.) Somehow, this is threatening. I have a cousin who once told me that college graduates are lacking in common sense. It was unfortunate to him that I didn't know how to fix a sink or change my oil. Upon my sister's pointing out that if she wanted to she could learn, but she'd much rather pay to have someone do it--hence the pharmacy doctorate--there was much scoffing. When we also pointed out that he had to learn to work on his car/plumbing/electric, to take classes or apprentice or be taught somehow, so the knowledge he was speaking of was similarly specialized and acquired, thus not common, there was also much denying.

This week, like at many other times in my life, it was reiterated to me that without holding a degree person-x probably knows a great deal more than I do. I never claimed to believe that I hold all knowledge--although, if I did that would be a great title: Holder of All Knowledge. I'd feel like a character in Lois Lowry book.

And then I was quizzed. This is my particular pet peeve. The person in question is an awesome guy, very smart, very well read where his interests lean. I enjoyed listening to him talk, but when he pop quizzed me on who created the first steam engine, I wanted to hop up on the table and give the world a lecture on this assumption that I think I know everything. (I couldn't remember the name, so offered up Stanton as a possibility. Correct answer: Robert Fulton. I will likely never forget again.)

And this is not the first time. At a yard sale prior to my move, a random old guy started quizzing me, then lecturing me, on grammar. I won't begin to relate the innumerable instances that occurred while I was working at a museum. (People were appalled that I didn't know who Motherwell was. He'd just never, to date, come up in a book I was reading.) Or the many family functions at which I have been accosted and quizzed.

But, hey, my degree is in English Literature. I'm pursuing an M.F.A. and while I like history enough to have gotten a minor I don't regularly read biographies or academic text. I do watch the History channel, but usually when it's about Nazis. (I'm terrified of Nazis in a phobic kind of way. I blame my mother for this. She was always pointing out how I fit the profile to be interred or that I matched some serial killers victim profile. It was her strange way of reminding me to be careful.) I also love Shark Week, but can I tell you anything more than how to avoid and, if unavoidable, react in a shark attack? No.

I'm okay with not knowing. I don't presume because you don't have some alphabets after your name that you aren't smart. But, one day, oh one day, I'm going to finally have enough of their snobbery. Because, yup, that's what it is.

Yes, I am not unaware that some form of feelings of inadequacy are going into this, but I didn't create/foster/exacerbate them--at least not with anything other than earning a B.A. and going for a second degree.

As a heads up, I also can't name the presidents in order, I have no idea which band is playing on the radio at any given time (I answer Joe Walsh to all music related questions), I can't change the oil in my car and I'm not positive where to add anti-freeze, I freeze when I have to do math in public (despite having always taken and done well in higher math classes), I read romance novels, the only thing I currently remember about trig is the sin/cosin song, and I once forgot how to spell address in a spelling bee (that public fear thing again).

As Tina Fey would say: Blerg.

Three Things I Found This Week: I am not a drinker. I really, really want some taco in a bag. And, I hate being late--sorry this post is about 45 minutes after the fact. (I had written one and tossed it in lieu of irritation.)

Three Things I Still Need to Find: My inner visual artist. The wherewithal to finish Crime and Punishment, once and for all. And, finally, lumpia, my favorite food.