to pee or not to pee - a call for empathy

Hello everyone. So far this summer I have really enjoyed reading the posts of my fellow UBloggers. Lots of new ideas, new information, new voices... A couple of posts in particular got me thinking about an issue on which I think UB may have missed a tremendous opportunity. Carolb, Sarahb, and Jason have each mentioned the excellence of the fitness center, the gleaming new construction, the extremely pleasant student center, or some combination of the above. I agree -- these facilities are all huge assets for UB, and I am happy knowing that some portion of the money UB takes in fees goes to creating and maintaining these spaces.

Except for the bathrooms.

In general, the bathrooms at UB are fine. They're VERY shiny, in the new buildings, and large, and that's all good. Most of them appear to be accessible to everyone, which is especially good.

But imagine that you are a transgender person. I am using the term "transgender" rather loosely, for the broadest possible interpretation -- I don't want to get into all the definitions and terminology here -- but generally I mean anyone who identifies as, or expresses themselves as, something not exactly identical to the gender marker on their birth certificate.

Anyway. Imagine that you are in the early stages of a gender transition, and you're on campus at UB, and you really need to deal with having had a quart of coffee before class. Most people just walk up to the bathroom door and glance at the sign to make sure they're in the right one.

For a trans person, it's not so easy. Transitioning is terrifying in any number of ways, whether one goes all the way from M to F (or the other direction) or stays in the middle of the spectrum somewhere. You may lose family and friends, question your faith, and go through any number of dramatic (and traumatic) physical changes. You have to learn all over again how to navigate the world. Some people are better at all of this than others.

So imagine that you're that transgender person. After spending your whole life feeling as if you are trapped inside the wrong body, you have finally accepted the reality of who you are, and started making changes to authenticate yourself. You have only recently begun your hormone therapy, you still feel like you look weird in your clothes, you're convinced everyone's staring at you all the time, your voice is a mess...and you REALLY have to use the bathroom. So you stand there in front of the M door, and then you stand in front of the F door... And you don't know what to do. Either way, there will likely be staring, possibly yelling, perhaps physical violence. Either way, you're scared.

I've noticed that people often seem to think that if trans folk can use their bathroom of choice, the world's bathrooms will be overrun by men in dresses, women in pants, etc. Oh, the horror.

But think, just for a minute, what it would be like to be afraid to use a public restroom.

In the current economic climate it is probably too much to ask that this be retroactively addressed in the extant bathrooms -- but in the Fitzgerald building, now under construction, it should not be too late to create a couple of single-use, gender neutral bathrooms. UB is a diverse and welcoming school, and this is a chance to add another facet to that welcome. In the meantime, should you find yourself sharing the restroom with a trans person, please show some empathy and understanding.