Last week I turned 24 years old. Everyone has undoubtedly been asked the ridiculous question on their birthday "Do you feel any older?" Of all people, this year my mom asked me this question (c'mon Mom you're better than that!) My response: "Not really, Dukes, kinda feels like a normal Tuesday." Since that Tuesday I've started to notice the age factor creepin' on me a bit.
When celebrating my birthday I noticed that it was only my irresponsible/still in school friends that were able to make it out to party on a Tuesday with me. The next night I went over to a friends house for dinner. A dinner party. The following night I hung out with some other friends who couldn't make it either Tuesday or Wednesday.
Having to celebrate your birthday three or four days in a row isn't the worst thing in the world but when you get older apparently it catches up to you. I woke up Friday morning and I actually had a hangover. (For those of you that don't know me this is an incredibly rare event - hasn't happened in a few years type rare.) This was no ordinary hangover either. Not the headache or nausea hangover it was simply too feeble to move, let alone get out of bed hangover.
(Stevie Nicks' Landslide playing in background) It finally happened. What all of my friends in their late 20's/early 30's have been telling me all this time. I will finally get older and not be able to party like I did before. (Still in background: "Children Get older and I'm getting older too!") A good Friday night will soon become a terrible Monday morning + an incapacitated/unproductive weekend. Caps lock weak.
Settling Down:
Having to slow down my partying is one thing but this is an entirely different form of getting old.
- I get a phone call this past week from my best friend since elementary school, who now lives down in FL: "I'm at the jewelry store picking out a ring for (insert now fiance's name here)!" "That's awesome man when are you thinkin' about getting married?" "Don't have a clue, we'll figure that out later." My boy is doing it right here. Try to shoe on for size. Yes breaking off an engagement may be more painful than breaking up with a girlfriend/boyfriend but it's a hell of a lot better than getting a divorce.
- This weekend one of my girl friends came over and hung out and watched college football all day with me. All we did was talk about her relationship and "how awesome he is!!" - hardly my idea of good football conversation but I'm happy for her nonetheless. She's still in denial - she was one of the biggest haters of settling down early before she met him - but it won't be more than a year before her boyfriend pops the question, she gives him an ecstatic "YESSS!!", he transitions from boyfriend to fiance and they move to Hawai'i for him to do his residency. (Yes he's going to be a doctor, be jealous ladies - and gay guys who dig dudes with money.) Several of my other girlfriends will be following suit soon after.
- I just turned 24. My brother got married a few years ago. He was 23. My sister got married less than a year later. She was 26. My brother has a kid on the way. I'm going to be an uncle in May. My sister is trying, or "allowing" as she likes to call it. They both "own" houses in the suburbs, have their dogs, cats and their 9-5's.
- I just got out of a five year relationship this past February. With past girlfriends there's always been a big knock down, drag out fight, presumably due to the fact that we weren't getting along, that finally ended the relationship. (Good lovers make great enemies?) This one ended mutually, without kicking and screaming - truly a bizarre experience for someone as passionate as myself.
Homegirl graduated, got her 9-5 and realized what she wanted: a guy that wants to settle down, propose to her in a most romantical way and carry her off on his steed to their new house in the 'burbs with a white picket fence and a few dogs in the yard where they'll start a baby making factory. Don't get me wrong, I could've been that guy and she knew it that's why she stuck around for five years. I simply have no desire for that right now. After her birthday (uh-oh, the biological clock is ticking!) and Valentine's Day a week later (what a bad combo of holidays to have in a row for a relationship that already has one foot off the cliff) we both realized it was over. Less than a month later she found herself a new boyfriend. I don't know the kid but I presume they'll be married before long.
- The other day I was speaking with a friend having the conversation that was the inspiration for this post. She mentioned that her dukes were moving south, expecting her to move with, but she has a boyfriend here who she's smitten with. Moving this far away would undoubtedly end the relationship but she doesn't believe in living with someone before marriage. "So why don't you get a place here?" "I probably will. He asked my parents' permission to marry me." "COMO, WHAT!?" (They've been together for 5 months, folks!)
Allow me to tell you the reason why, in my humble opinion, more than half of the marriages in this country fail:
- People want the American dream. Instead of getting married when it "feels right" people seem to be getting married when they're of the age to be getting married and in a serious relationship. A few years down the road they end up realizing they have no idea why they got married to start with. Result: Divorce.
- People change. Everyone is changing all the time - learning about themselves, relationships, the world etc. The longer you wait to get married the more likely both you and your partner are going to have enough life experience to know what you want. Often times when people change they realize what they want out of life and what truly makes them happy. This is not always, and even rarely, what they wanted previously. Result: Divorce.
- People are lazy. Monogamy isn't natural. (That's right I said it!!) Historically and instinctively women are nesters. Since the existence of human kind they have been the one's who have the children and make the home. Historically and instinctively men reproduce. Since the existence of human kind their focus has been to "spread their seed" to ensure the human race continued to exist.
Issues with this arose (spread of disease, mothers not having the means to take care of their children, etc.) so religion took it upon itself to say that if you aren't monogamous you go to hell - in essence making calm out of chaos - and henceforth it was frowned upon to "do the deed" until you were married. Since monogamy isn't natural it's something that people need to be constantly working at. Marriage isn't the Underwater Basket Weaving of relationships. Once you're married you can't just show up and get an A, you still have to put in effort. When people get lazy about this they begin to hate their partner. Result: Divorce.
Tony Robbins "Please Wait" Rant:
I do not intend to sit on a soapbox and bash monogamy, commitment or settling down - I have been a serial monogamist myself in years past. I also do not intend to bash any particular relationship. Each one is unique and, I don't know this from personal experience but, I'm told "you know when you know." What I would like to say, however, is PLEASE slow down - this is not a race. Ladies I understand that your biological clock is ticking, allow it to get a little closer to the finish line before you decide to make the plunge.
I don't mean to speak about marriage like I've been there before either, I haven't. However, I do have the advantage of being able to see marriage through a logical lens rather than an emotional one. Many people ignore divorce statistics thinking it won't happen to them because their relationship is "different." Though this is true some 47% of the time, the majority of the time it's not. If more than 50% of the people in the U.S. had AIDS you wouldn't be sleeping with someone assuming that you know them and that they're "different." You'd have them get tested. Unfortunately the only test for a relationship is time. And I'm not just talking being monogamous. I mean living with the person, sleeping with them, hell maybe even sharing finances with them. It's all a part of marriage, you may as well see if the shoe fits. Right?
Go out and experience life. Yes, settling down and getting married is often a part of life but it's not the end all be all of human existence. It is significantly easier to check things off the old bucket list when you don't have previous commitments (a significant other, kids, a mortgage etc.) If someone can give me a good reason to get married at an early age other than "tax purposes," "my biological clock is ticking," or "you know when you know" then please do so because I always like to see another perspective. Until then I'll stick to living the dream.
Remember kids: Be well, do good work and always know your dealer.
Cheers,
Miles.
P.S. I have a friend whose roommate needs to move out of her place down in Butchers Hill in order to deal with some personal stuff. The place is a two bedroom near Patterson Park and walking distance to both Fells Pt. and Canton - not a bad spot at all. The girl who is staying goes to UB as well. Rent is $750 + utilities. If you're interested email her: kerry.abbott@ubalt.edu.
P.P.S. I was having this same conversation with someone this weekend about how females are too tiny these days and how we've made the Paris Hilton body type a sex symbol (see my previous rant here near the bottom) and they mentioned that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. That meant nothing to me at the time but then said friend threw out a few of our girlfriends' waist sizes and I was blown away. Marilyn Monroe folks. The same Marilyn Monroe that was THE sex symbol of her time. The one that was sleeping with our President, Mr. John F. Kennedy. What happened between the 60's and now?
When celebrating my birthday I noticed that it was only my irresponsible/still in school friends that were able to make it out to party on a Tuesday with me. The next night I went over to a friends house for dinner. A dinner party. The following night I hung out with some other friends who couldn't make it either Tuesday or Wednesday.
Having to celebrate your birthday three or four days in a row isn't the worst thing in the world but when you get older apparently it catches up to you. I woke up Friday morning and I actually had a hangover. (For those of you that don't know me this is an incredibly rare event - hasn't happened in a few years type rare.) This was no ordinary hangover either. Not the headache or nausea hangover it was simply too feeble to move, let alone get out of bed hangover.
(Stevie Nicks' Landslide playing in background) It finally happened. What all of my friends in their late 20's/early 30's have been telling me all this time. I will finally get older and not be able to party like I did before. (Still in background: "Children Get older and I'm getting older too!") A good Friday night will soon become a terrible Monday morning + an incapacitated/unproductive weekend. Caps lock weak.
Settling Down:
Having to slow down my partying is one thing but this is an entirely different form of getting old.
- I get a phone call this past week from my best friend since elementary school, who now lives down in FL: "I'm at the jewelry store picking out a ring for (insert now fiance's name here)!" "That's awesome man when are you thinkin' about getting married?" "Don't have a clue, we'll figure that out later." My boy is doing it right here. Try to shoe on for size. Yes breaking off an engagement may be more painful than breaking up with a girlfriend/boyfriend but it's a hell of a lot better than getting a divorce.
- This weekend one of my girl friends came over and hung out and watched college football all day with me. All we did was talk about her relationship and "how awesome he is!!" - hardly my idea of good football conversation but I'm happy for her nonetheless. She's still in denial - she was one of the biggest haters of settling down early before she met him - but it won't be more than a year before her boyfriend pops the question, she gives him an ecstatic "YESSS!!", he transitions from boyfriend to fiance and they move to Hawai'i for him to do his residency. (Yes he's going to be a doctor, be jealous ladies - and gay guys who dig dudes with money.) Several of my other girlfriends will be following suit soon after.
- I just turned 24. My brother got married a few years ago. He was 23. My sister got married less than a year later. She was 26. My brother has a kid on the way. I'm going to be an uncle in May. My sister is trying, or "allowing" as she likes to call it. They both "own" houses in the suburbs, have their dogs, cats and their 9-5's.
- I just got out of a five year relationship this past February. With past girlfriends there's always been a big knock down, drag out fight, presumably due to the fact that we weren't getting along, that finally ended the relationship. (Good lovers make great enemies?) This one ended mutually, without kicking and screaming - truly a bizarre experience for someone as passionate as myself.
Homegirl graduated, got her 9-5 and realized what she wanted: a guy that wants to settle down, propose to her in a most romantical way and carry her off on his steed to their new house in the 'burbs with a white picket fence and a few dogs in the yard where they'll start a baby making factory. Don't get me wrong, I could've been that guy and she knew it that's why she stuck around for five years. I simply have no desire for that right now. After her birthday (uh-oh, the biological clock is ticking!) and Valentine's Day a week later (what a bad combo of holidays to have in a row for a relationship that already has one foot off the cliff) we both realized it was over. Less than a month later she found herself a new boyfriend. I don't know the kid but I presume they'll be married before long.
- The other day I was speaking with a friend having the conversation that was the inspiration for this post. She mentioned that her dukes were moving south, expecting her to move with, but she has a boyfriend here who she's smitten with. Moving this far away would undoubtedly end the relationship but she doesn't believe in living with someone before marriage. "So why don't you get a place here?" "I probably will. He asked my parents' permission to marry me." "COMO, WHAT!?" (They've been together for 5 months, folks!)
Allow me to tell you the reason why, in my humble opinion, more than half of the marriages in this country fail:
- People want the American dream. Instead of getting married when it "feels right" people seem to be getting married when they're of the age to be getting married and in a serious relationship. A few years down the road they end up realizing they have no idea why they got married to start with. Result: Divorce.
- People change. Everyone is changing all the time - learning about themselves, relationships, the world etc. The longer you wait to get married the more likely both you and your partner are going to have enough life experience to know what you want. Often times when people change they realize what they want out of life and what truly makes them happy. This is not always, and even rarely, what they wanted previously. Result: Divorce.
- People are lazy. Monogamy isn't natural. (That's right I said it!!) Historically and instinctively women are nesters. Since the existence of human kind they have been the one's who have the children and make the home. Historically and instinctively men reproduce. Since the existence of human kind their focus has been to "spread their seed" to ensure the human race continued to exist.
Issues with this arose (spread of disease, mothers not having the means to take care of their children, etc.) so religion took it upon itself to say that if you aren't monogamous you go to hell - in essence making calm out of chaos - and henceforth it was frowned upon to "do the deed" until you were married. Since monogamy isn't natural it's something that people need to be constantly working at. Marriage isn't the Underwater Basket Weaving of relationships. Once you're married you can't just show up and get an A, you still have to put in effort. When people get lazy about this they begin to hate their partner. Result: Divorce.
Tony Robbins "Please Wait" Rant:
I do not intend to sit on a soapbox and bash monogamy, commitment or settling down - I have been a serial monogamist myself in years past. I also do not intend to bash any particular relationship. Each one is unique and, I don't know this from personal experience but, I'm told "you know when you know." What I would like to say, however, is PLEASE slow down - this is not a race. Ladies I understand that your biological clock is ticking, allow it to get a little closer to the finish line before you decide to make the plunge.
I don't mean to speak about marriage like I've been there before either, I haven't. However, I do have the advantage of being able to see marriage through a logical lens rather than an emotional one. Many people ignore divorce statistics thinking it won't happen to them because their relationship is "different." Though this is true some 47% of the time, the majority of the time it's not. If more than 50% of the people in the U.S. had AIDS you wouldn't be sleeping with someone assuming that you know them and that they're "different." You'd have them get tested. Unfortunately the only test for a relationship is time. And I'm not just talking being monogamous. I mean living with the person, sleeping with them, hell maybe even sharing finances with them. It's all a part of marriage, you may as well see if the shoe fits. Right?
Go out and experience life. Yes, settling down and getting married is often a part of life but it's not the end all be all of human existence. It is significantly easier to check things off the old bucket list when you don't have previous commitments (a significant other, kids, a mortgage etc.) If someone can give me a good reason to get married at an early age other than "tax purposes," "my biological clock is ticking," or "you know when you know" then please do so because I always like to see another perspective. Until then I'll stick to living the dream.
Remember kids: Be well, do good work and always know your dealer.
Cheers,
Miles.
P.S. I have a friend whose roommate needs to move out of her place down in Butchers Hill in order to deal with some personal stuff. The place is a two bedroom near Patterson Park and walking distance to both Fells Pt. and Canton - not a bad spot at all. The girl who is staying goes to UB as well. Rent is $750 + utilities. If you're interested email her: kerry.abbott@ubalt.edu.
P.P.S. I was having this same conversation with someone this weekend about how females are too tiny these days and how we've made the Paris Hilton body type a sex symbol (see my previous rant here near the bottom) and they mentioned that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. That meant nothing to me at the time but then said friend threw out a few of our girlfriends' waist sizes and I was blown away. Marilyn Monroe folks. The same Marilyn Monroe that was THE sex symbol of her time. The one that was sleeping with our President, Mr. John F. Kennedy. What happened between the 60's and now?
17 comments:
Couldn't agree more on almost 100% of this blog, BUT I have to say I do not in anyway agree with the majority of the "people are lazy" section. To think that all women are "nesters" is far from the truth. Maybe historically, but I don't think it is instinctive for plenty of women. These days, I think it is just as likely for a woman to want to go out and "reproduce." This is a very conservative and paternalistic view of men and women and I it is not correct. It is a stereotype and although it is changing, it is still very widely assumed that women want to settle down and be taken care of, when I know for a fact in many, many women this is not the case!
Don't know if I should comment here or Facebook, but, Good work. I have the Marriage and the kids, and I'm not gonna lie, it's not easy, and I have deinitely said "in my next life, it may be done in a different order" no regrets but there is nothing wrong with waiting! Getting a good career and going out even for a bookstore and coffee break is really difficult when you have kids and a family! :) You definitely have an excellent point to this post!
~Brittany C. (previously M.)
Oh P.s. I didn't know what to choose for "comment as" so hopefully that's right!
Let me guess, your parents are divorced?
I thought I'd just comment on here as well and tell you that even though I'm newly married, I could relate to a lot of what you wrote here. Marriage isn't for everyone, and most of them won't last... but I guess that's what divorce is for.
I'm totally guilty of saying "when you know, you know" on several occasions, but it's not just bullshit - in my case, I full heartedly believe it. Of course, people do change, but it's a matter of marrying someone who will stick by you through those changes and accept the person that you change to become... and not just love the person you were when they met you. I hope that makes sense.
Enough rambling... good work, Miles!
What was wrong with the dinner party? I was trying to do something nice for you for your birthday? -KD
@Anonymous 3:02 pm: I agree with you, that viewpoint is more historical. I don't have any experience with this as a woman (seeing as how I'm a guy) I feel you may be overestimating the numbers a bit though. Not all women are nesters but I would disagree that women are just as likely to want to stay single and sleep around as men are. But yes, I do think there are beginning to be more who aren't as interested in marriage.
All of this being said I think the point remains: Monogamy isn't natural.
Thanks a lot for your comments though. I appreciate the constructive criticism.
@Brittany: I always say comment here. That way the people of the UB Blog think someone is actually reading what I write :o) But thanks! I appreciate someone who was married young being able to see this post for what it's worth - advice to the people yet to be married not a condemnation of those who are.
@Anonymous 3:33 pm: "Hey Miles, have you experienced divorce before? If so do you think this may have given you a jaded or cynical view or changed your perspective of marriage at all?" I feel there are several ways you could've brought that point up without being disrespectful. Yes my parents are divorced. No, it's none of your business.
But for the record they were married for 26 years before getting divorced. Their divorce was due both in part to the "People Change" and the "People are Lazy" aspect of things - and when I say "people" I mean my dad. No I'm not angry at my dad. Yes, we're still cool. His relationship with my mom was his deal and I've been able to successfully compartmentalize that and realize it as his, not mine.
So back to the point you were, not so eloquently, trying to make: Has my parents divorce changed my view of marriage? Undoubtedly. Does it change any of the points I made in the post? I personally don't think so. It is hard to convince people to wait to get married because my parents got married and then they got divorced. It isn't hard to convince people to wait to get married when they are presented with logical facts and opinions that stand on their own merit, however.
@Mandee: I appreciate your honest look at marriage despite, presumably, still being in your honeymoon phase. The blind, naive "it won't happen to us" seems dangerous to me. Going into it knowing that, statistically, it will likely fail is a much better outlook because it keeps you working towards the relationship instead of thinking you're "safe."
As far as people changing goes I agree with you. I was, once again, trying to speak from a place of logical and probability rather than emotion. I'm not sure that I made it very clear but I was trying to say the longer you wait the more likely the person you're marrying is going know what they want. You can't prevent change, but knowing yourself and what you want is a great start to a relationship.
@KD: Haha Kel, you know that I love you and your delicious stuffed peppers. It's just another sign that we're getting old. Especially when you and you're hot roommate couldn't come out with us that night because you have fancy jobs now!!
A couple comments here.
First off I hate that marriage seems to be everyones next step. I personally think that it is entirely sensible that some people are cut out for marriage.
Second, on the religion not. As a Christian sex and marriage are one and the same idea. Marriage is considered the union of two people. So there's some line blurring there. I've also heard it argued that the Bible says nothing about only marrying one person, just that if you have sex with somebody that you should commit to them. Who's to say one can't be multi-commited (just theories here).
Third, I'm with you on the wait thing. Statistics show that people that get married before 25 usually get divorced.
FINALLY ... big FINALLY here ... Next time you're at a wedding listen to the vows. For rich or for poorer, sickness and health yada yada. Basically this means no take backs. This means shitty days, bad attitudes, cheating, pissy in laws, ugly kids, you name it. Getting formally married is a promise that you will stick by your spouse no matter what. Anyone who divorces is a HARD CORE liar. You get a divorce and you have lied to every person you invited to your wedding (hope it was small) including your parents, closest and best friends, usually just about every important person you know. This garnishes a lot of disrespect from me.
Great post Miles,
Brett Workman
I agree with what you said about going out and experiencing life. Between the ages of 22-24 I dated someone I seriously thought I wanted to marry (stupid!). When we broke up I spent almost three years being single and just dating around, having fun, and doing positive things for myself. Those experiences helped me realize that I wanted to marry him for all the wrong reasons. My thoughts at the time:
I know I want to get married someday, so why not now? Why not him?
All of our couple friends seem to be moving in that direction.
He has a good job and can provide for me and our future family.
We've been dating for two years so aren't we supposed to get engaged soon?
Don't get me wrong, I did love him at the time. But he was also my first serious boyfriend and first adult relationship. People say "you just know" but what if you have nothing to compare it to? How can you be certain you know?
On relationships, marriage, and ticking clocks: Different people have different plans for their lives. If your plan is to party and be financially unstable until you are 30 - that's fine. Maybe you will have your last child by 35. If he/she is still in college at 24, you're almost 60 and still paying off college bills. On top of that, you're prob having a pretty damn hard time paying those bills, seeing as though you didn't begin a career path until 30 and didn't start making a decent salary until 40 - 45.
On the other hand, some of us would like to become successful and settle down earlier..so that by 50, children are already out on their own and its time to enjoy life, yet again. And that is not to say that life ends in between, it just takes on some direction. You have a plan to be financially stable enough to ENJOY having children - you can afford to take them on vacations and put them on great sports teams and send them to whatever college they like etc etc and you aren't fighting with your spouse over bills and expenses, which is the inevitable scenario if you have no plan for your life.
You can either calm yourself, work hard, and sacrifice NOW, while you have all the energy and spunk in the world, become successful early so that you can play later. Or you can bong beers and bang sleeze muffins for another 8-10 years and suddenly realize you better scramble to pick up your life and put it in gear - but by then it may or may not be too late. That is the risk you run.
On divorce, are people lazy, sure, does every woman want the "american dream" of marriage and picket fences at some point, lots, and do people change, absolutely. BUT... once upon a time, these things didn't translate into divorce. People used to have more respect for the union of marriage. I have girlfriends today that are PLANNING to have THREE marriages..."First for money, then for looks..oh..and maybe lastly for love TEE HEE" WHERE the HELL did that thought process come from? Probably her divorced parents.
In the end, whatever blows your hair back... just don't get lost in the breeze.
I’m not trying to shut you down, but just a few other perspectives came to mind while reading this…. So conjure up some humility.
The ability to drink numerous nights in a row without feeling the affects isn’t a sign of youth. There are plenty of middle-aged people who can drink a case a night. It’s more likely a sign of alcoholism, or years needing to nurse something for confidence and self-assurance. Especially at the young age of 24… you’re not exactly gripping a cane. Don’t get me wrong, I am not an advocate of prohibition or saying you need AA. I just think you are making the mistake of grouping correlation with causation.
You consider yourself passionate. About what? It seems you fight against a lot of things, but not really for anything. Well, except “experiencing life,” but I don’t think it takes a passionate person to want to live. What do you love? Who do you love? Without knowing those answers, you’re just another cynic on a high horse.
“Historically and instinctively women are nesters.” Thank you for showing up a beautiful example of how gender has become an engrained social construction. Historically women weren’t allowed to have jobs, vote, or have any say outside of the home. Oftentimes the only choice they had was to be a homemaker or be known as a spinster. That is not nesting, that is being caged. And women’s instincts didn’t continue this trap; it worked to free themselves of it in fights for suffrage, allowance into higher education, and equality in the workplace.
Side note: Having children and reproducing are the same things. What you essentially said is that both men and women instinctively have the desire to procreate, which is true of all species- nothing to do with nesting.
Monogamy. Whatever. I don’t care if people get married or not. But is it an unnatural and made-up religious ideal to stop disease? Doubtful. People are drawn to each other, to communicate and build relationships with others. It seems natural that two people are more likely to be drawn to each other more than they are to anyone else. Oh, and one word: penguins. Not saying that is the end-all point to this argument, but look ‘em up. Interesting animals.
And you second to last paragraph. What the hell is your position again? You warn against the dangers of monogamy and settling, but you say a relationship needs time? You tell people to wait for marriage but to live, sleep, and share finances with their partner? How do you define marriage? By the slip of paper some appointed judge stamps? Because I know a few gay couples who have proof that a piece of paper does not prove a marriage.
“Until then I’ll stick to living the dream.” I thought you were wary of universal dreams theories like the “American Dream.” What is your dream and why is it better? Nice and flippant surfer-dude way of ending your supposedly free-spirit blog, (I say supposedly because you give off a too much of judgmental vibe-- reference your reaction to your best friend’s engagement, football girl friend, homegirl who liked white fences, and the 5-month engagement girl-- to be that open-minded.) but it contradicts a lot of what you just got done saying.
You got my homegirl a toilet bowl cleaner and transformer card & gift bag for her birthday. And, she does not even like the transformers!
"It is significantly easier to check things off the old bucket list when you don't have previous commitments (a significant other, kids, a mortgage etc."-- I want to experience everything I can out of life, and I have been in a wonderful relationship for over 5 years that probably will lead to marriage. I think if two people are in a relationship together, but still have their lives independent of each other, then one can check things off their bucket list by themselves or together with the person they love. Traveling is one of my things I am constantly checking off my list, and I have been to my 25th country this year, some with him and some by myself.
I think people today need to realize that whether you are single, in a relationship, or married you need to be true to yourself and do things that make you happy. Some people believe marriage is going to complete them, but this is what leads to divorce. You have to be complete before joining your life with someone else, or you will always be let down by feeling empty. This is true whether you are 20 years old or 70. There is no need to rush into something like marriage until you know that person will want to experience the same kind of life with that you have envisioned. --J
Hi Miles - great blog!
I am 28 years old and when I was younger like 21 - 23 I had no problem drinking and staying out all night with no hangovers the next day. I think this year has been the worst for me. It seems like I can’t really drink anymore because my body can’t handle it and no matter how much alcohol I consume I get a hangover from it! It’s amazing how when you get older things change. It wasn’t until I was 25 years old that I started having serious sinus problems. Well anyways happy belated birthday. I wish you the best and just wait until you hit 28, lol....
to Kathleen ... most people who have children are unable to complete as much college as those who don't. Statistically more college = higher income. So your theory on having kids earlier giving more financial stability is very loose and irrationally built on your accusation that a childless person is going to end up a poor failure. Now considering you'll probably not see this response I'll move one ...
To the next person who got in a tiff over the nesting comment. It is both historically, statistically, and psychologically proven that women tend to be more nurturing and nesting in nature then men. It's not sexist we are all equal ... but that doesn't mean we are built the same. It merely means we have the same value (Dictionary - equal).
Come on don't be so dramatic! what really matters is keep a cool attitude no matter if you have thousand of years ;)
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