Ramen Noodles, Peanut Butter, and Bargain Bins

It's that time of year again-- cool weather, changing leaves. All the signs are there, like the funnel cloud of a tornado or all the animals hightailing it into the hills: It's mid-terms and I'm broke.

I had forgotten this part of college, blocked it out of my mind while telling people how I loved school and my Master's Degree would help me get a better job. I think, for the first time undergraduates out there, this is a rite of passage. There's something a little romantic about heating up your Ramen noodles in the microwave and not having enough money to dry your clothes. You can bond with undergrads across the nation, swapping war stories of surviving with lint in your pockets and a can of peaches in syrup. (Not to say that it doesn't suck. But, again, when you leave you will wear your years of malnourishment as a badge of honor.)

However, when you are 26 and the only thing in your shopping cart is a jar of off-brand peanut butter, some saltines, and an industrial sized box of Ramem....Yeah, the reactions are a little bit different. Plus, you're in classes with real adults--the ones with jobs and kids and mortgages. They can afford Starbucks everyday and frivolous winter accoutrement like gloves.

However, since I have been down this road before I have learned that there are things that I can get by without. Yes, the obvious, i.e. TV and internet and using a dryer. But, when you are really bare bonesing it,you've got to get creative.

Each purchase of food becomes vital and you must answer a series of questions before placing the item in the cart.

Questions to ask: How long will it last? Can I use it at every meal? (Peanut butter being the standard by which all other foodstuffs fall short. It has protein. On toast it becomes breakfast, on celery a snack, between two slices of bread lunch...and dinner...and another snack.)Does it add to my feeling full in anyway? (And so most condiments fall by the wayside.)

You'll notice nutritional value is not on the list. That was my mistake as an undergraduate, now I check that out and, if I'm feeling too guilty about the Chef Boyardee I bought for a buck a can at Dollar General, I toss an apple onto the other groceries. (Ultimately, I think my pets are eating better than I am right now.)

Always, always check out bargain bins. So, you've never heard of the movie Shark Eats Man, it has a catchy title and is on sale for $1.50. (Although, okay, we now have these fancy dollar-a-night DVD rental machines. Talk about havin' it easy.) Still, such movies can make great gifts if your struggles continue through the holidays.

Do all homework in the 24 hour computer lab--saves on electricity in your own home.

You don't really need conditioner, or shampooo for that matter. Wash your hair with your body soap, sure it'll be a little stiff and dry, but what comes first, folks? What comes first?

New shoes? Don't be silly. Duct tape. (The answer to all your fashion and decorating needs.)

And, of course, scour the Daily Digest for food give aways. If a club/event/department is going to hand out free pizza, there is no reason not to jump on that. And elbow other people aside, discreetly, so you can get three slices.

Of course, this semester seems worse than others I've weathered. A lot of the grad. students I know that moved to Baltimore are struggling to find jobs and we're all turning back to our dark days of food service and retail. And even that is no guarantee.

But, hey, I hear the recession is over.

Things I've found this week: I can burn myself cooking anything. And I use the term cooking very loosely. (The first time I was making mac'n'cheese, the second time I was making tea in the microwave.) Mish-mashed meat products like bologna and sausage begin to blur together if eaten too often.

Things I still need to find: A third found thing. Someone willing to fund my book habit and my eating habit. And the hours I spent watching Magnolia.