Hold that Elevator

I work in a wing of a building that has 10 floors and using the elevator is taken for granted. While the signs on the wall above the arrow buttons says "Walk up one, or down two", I usually quietly laugh at it while I press the up arrow to go one floor.

Lately, I have been trying to take the stairs due to my expanding waist line. Some mornings, though, at 6:30 AM I just do not feel like walking up the stairs, so I head for the elevator. Now, if I do this, there is a certain pattern that I do.

- I make sure no one is behind me, so I will not be shamed into only going "up one" in the elevator instead of "up one" using the stairs. I quickly walk to the elevator to round the corner before anyone gets there, looking over my shoulder or in the reflective marble as many times as I can.

- During this quick walking, I am praying that one of the four elevators is waiting for me - doors wide open, inviting me in.

- I dive into the elevator, hiding behind the little wall feverishly depressing the "close door" button, trying not to be seen hopefully closing the door on any unsuspecting approaching person - yelling "hold that door." If someone does come up, I pretend and apologize for not knowing the difference between the symbols for close door and open door - as the doors are closing. (To my defense, these do confuse people. See the below picture. The arrow shows the "open door", or is it the "close door", oh hell, I don't know...)


- If someone does happen upon the elevator, when I can't close the door fast enough, I will hit the 6th floor button saying "I usually walk to my office on the 6th floor, but I pulled my tibialus anterior muscle training for my fifth ironman yesterday, and my orthopaedic doctor told me to rest it this week." I stand grimacing like I am in pain, favoring my leg (I think I said the right muscle).....and with my wonderful luck, this person wants to go to the 6th floor as well. So now I have to limp off the elevator (after they so graciously hold the door for me) and hopefully walk the direction they are not going....and if they do go my way, then I go to the rest room, duck in their for a second or two, come back out of the rest room, limping until I make sure no one is around, head to the elevator and go back down to my floor...all of this for just missing out on 22 stairs to climb.  And...I think I am more stressed and tired than if I took those stairs.

Always a fun way to start the day.  What I will do not to walk up the stairs...

Til next time.