What I Learned in Law School: Spring Break Edition

Well, since it is Spring Break, and since the last few weeks I have been pretty serious with my posts, let's have this post be a whole bunch of humorous snippets. Read on to learn what student's buy during class, why some legal research will earn you a ton of dirty looks, and how General Tso's Kitten (I kid! Its Chicken!) influenced the framers of the Constitution.
Laptop Etiquette:
Everyone in law school brings their computer class. Honestly, there are usually less than 5 in a class of 70 taking notes by hand. (I am one of them, but that is another story.) Needless to say, during a three hour class, you are probably going to check your email, pop into facebook, etc. This is fine. Some people, however, take it to the extreme.

There is a particular gentleman who actually volunteered to answer a question, while watching a soccer game on his laptop.

Also, at times I have witnessed head to head Tetris games.

If you are going to play Farmville in class, make sure your speakers are off. I think most of the professors have accepted that Gchat will be open in the background during class, but when they hear that Moo, they get pretty steamed.

The ladies tend to shop. You see a lot of J.Crew, Nordstroms.com, etc. However, if you sit in the front row of class, you should probably save your lingerie shopping for home. First of all, its distracting to everyone who sits behind you. Secondly, that is the kind of thing you probably don't want to broadcast to a room full of potential colleagues.

Wikipedia:
I am sure everyone has his or her own opinion of Wikipedia. In Law School, it can be both a lifesaver or the shovel with which you dig your own grave. On one hand, it is great for getting a quick memory jog for some latin you forgot the meaning of. On the other hand, the legal concepts tend to be flat wrong. In Constitutional Law (Con Law, if you are hip to the lingo) tends to be the biggest abuser of Wikipedia. Supreme Court cases are the worst to read, they tend to be boring and long winded, but they also are most frequently found summarized on Wikipedia.

Inevitably, someone will raise their hand and rattle off some obscure trivia about the Justice writing the concurring opinion. And then you can just see 65 dirty looks coming their way, because you know what, we all read it on Wikipedia too, but we didn't try to take credit for it.

The Name Mangler:
Cases tend to be called by the name of the party (ex. Sullivan v. New York Times Co. is called "Sullivan"). I have interacted with one individual this semester who is fantastic at mangling every single name that comes their way. "Klepperman" becomes "Kelperman." "Martinez" becomes "MART-in-nez." "Plano" which we all say like the city in Texas, plain - oh, is said "Planne - oh."

Winning Quotes:

In American Legal History: "The early federal government is like, oh, the U.S. Hockey Team. Just all the best in the world, together on one team."

Again in American Legal History, discussing Executive Power: "Declaring war on terror is like declaring war on poverty. Who are you fighting? Perhaps next we should declare war on metaphors."

Discussing the Necessary and Proper Clause of the Constitution: "The N and P clause is like MSG. By itself it has no flavor, but it is a flavor enhancer. By itself, N and P gives no power, but combined with other parts of the constitution, it is a power enhancer." Always nice hearing our Constitution compared to Chinese take away.

In Property: "As you can see, by embracing this doctrine, Hawaii really nerfed marital property." For the less nerdy readers, "nerfed" is a term you use in online gaming. Online games are from time to time update to make them better balanced. When one previously powerful move gets weakened to make it more even when the rest of them, you say it was "nerfed." Sort of like replacing the bullets in your gun with foam arrows. i don't know if it a legal term or not.