What Happened to the Treat Option?

Halloween is upon us once again and I have a feeling that it's going to be quite the let down this year. Don't get me wrong, I definitely fancy myself some Halloween action but not for the same reasons many other guys in my situation might. Yes, there is a side of me (yin) that enjoys seeing gorgeous, scantily clad women dancing in bars drinking alcohol. But there is another side of me (yang) that is strait up sick of talking to girls only to find out they a.) don't have a brain; b.) think they're way hotter than they actually are; or c.) will sleep with me without knowing so much as my first name and a couple of bullshit lines I gave them with a smile at the bar. (Is there a PC way to say whore?) What ever happened to trick-or-treat? I feel like the latter option has been completely dropped and all we're left with is a bunch of tricks.

I must take a minute to admit that in the past decade I have been wifed up a total of 8 years between two different girls - what a crying shame. Not being able to find someone that is both attractive and can hold an intelligent conversation hasn't been too much of an issue until fairly recently - forgive me if this turns into a rant, as it undoubtedly will.

(If we have hung out, gone on a date, hooked up or even been in the "talking" phase recently then please do not take offense. In all likelihood if you're reading this then we're still on good terms and it was a mutual understanding anyway - hopefully)

What Your Costume Says to Me:

If the name of your costume is prefaced by sexy, naughty or slutty (i.e. sexy firefighter, naughty cop, slutty nurse) then you are probably not wearing enough clothing and likely a.) feel the need to gain approval from the opposite sex in order to feel good about yourself and do so by showing off your body; b.) feel the need to fit in with your peers in order to feel good about yourself and do so by conforming to what they're doing; or c.) feel the need to show off your body because you are materialistic and don't value any wit, charm, sense of humor or mental capacity that you may have.

If you purchased your costume from a costume store and wear it as it was intended to be worn then you're a.) not crafty enough to fashion one yourself; b.) not creative enough to come up with an idea for a costume yourself; or c.)too lazy to be either crafty or creative.

Tony Robbins:

You teach people how to treat you. If you wear a costume that makes you look like a slut prepare yourself to be treated accordingly. If your costume is completely unoriginal and required little thought (a.k.a you bought it from a store) then prepare to be hit on by guys that are completely unoriginal.

I know that when I go out the next few nights, dressed in full regalia, I will first and foremost be looking to simply have a good time with friends. However, I will also be keeping an eye out for attractive girls that seem to have creative and lucid thoughts between their ears (yang.)

If in my journey I happen to strike up a conversation with a really hot girl who I can tolerate but don't necessarily hit it off with and she wants to join me back at my house for a drink or two after the bar then I may oblige (yin) but that will likely be the extent of it. (Don't you judge me! I'm a single 24 year old guy and would like to keep it that way until a more attractive situation presents itself.)

On a completely unrelated note - while I'm still bitching about the eligible females I meet - can we please encourage girls to start eating double bacon cheeseburgers? I'm not sure who decided it was sexy for women to look like 7 year-old boy's but we need to switch that up STAT. What happened to a woman having curves and being soft? I don't want to see your abs or your rib cage so please start eating food and quit with the binge and purge method.

Remember kids: Be well, do good work and always know your dealer.

Cheers,

Miles.