Carpooling is fun...or How to catch pertussis in 30 miles

So I have about a 30 mile commute to work - one way - everyday. A lot of people (and by a lot of people, I really mean my best friend who could walk backwards using one leg and still get to work in 3 minutes) ask me how I do it, and I tell them that I am used to it, since it used to be 40 miles one way. We actually moved two years ago, and one of our prequisites was to live closer to work...and we did find that perfect house which met this condition. It lessened our commute by one mile...hey, we cut off two minutes.

Since I have been doing this for almost 17 years, I have done it multiple ways, with multiple people, and multiple routes. Commuting can be lots of fun, and let me tell you why.

First, I can be an expert in many things - why you say? I can listen to NPR and learn all about the uses of monkey testicles to solve brain aneurisms in South Asia, or dumpster diving taking a new twist by turning them into swimming pools, or how a JC Penney store in Manhattan caters to those "busy" residents by employing runners to get their merchandise for them. I can really hold my own during almost all water cooler conversations now - both with my employees who love to talk about Stewie, McSteamy, Simon and Betty, and now with my peers who talk about the effects of global warming and lazy New Yorkers.

Second, you see some very interesting things while driving. Men shaving, women putting on make-up, boys texting, and girls listening to music, shaving and putting on make-up and texting. While luckily not one of these idiots have come into my lane or run into me, there certainly have been close calls...and don't get me started on people driving slow in the fast lane, the Chevrolet Chevette with 9 day laborers, or the truck drivers throwing out their window gallon jugs of their now discarded bodily fluids.

One time I even saw an accident that involved one work truck rear-ending the other...while that certainly is not a rare occurance, this time both trucks were from the same company.

I have always thought about patenting a series of signs for a driver to hold up for the person in the next car to see. These signs would be used to let them know how you as the driver feel about something the driver next to you is doing, or not doing. For example you can hold up a sign that says:

"Your turn signal has been on for the past 18 miles, and you still have not turned."

or

"Your coat belt is dragging on the asphalt causing sparks and small brush fires in the median."

or

"If you dig any deeper, you will be in in your frontal lobe."

(ed. note...Now that I have told all of the 3 people who read my posts about my really cool car sign idea...if you use it and start selling it to millions, you better give me a cut...I have 2 other people who are witnesses that I first came up with this great game the whole family can play on a long drive to grandma's house.)

I am now in a carpool that works out great (even though my carpooler has told me his doctor has told him that his ongoing coughing could be pertussis and only told me this after we breathed the same stagnant air for 30 miles).

While sometimes I don't get to have my car at work to drive to Cheesecake Factory for a 2500 calorie salad, carpooling does have its plusses. It gives me the ability to shave, text, listen to music and put on my make-up on the way to work without throwing in driving too. However, yesterday a rather full late model Chevette passed us on my side and one of the passengers in the back was holding up a handpainted sign in Spanish that I am pretty sure said:

"Hey...that lipstick does not go with that top."