Life Lessons by an Alumni

Lately, I have been wondering as the alumni poster for this blog, what good advice and wisdom could I impart on those that read this blog.  I think about what useful information I can relate to those who are not in the same point in their life as I am.  I try to look back on my 17 years of being in the "real world" and see that there are many things that I have experienced that I think would be good for me to pass on for those who are looking up (?) to their school's alumni;for some great advice. This is one of those posts....

I am sure everyone had their mother tell them that they should always wear clean underwear.

I know my mother (the same one that now sometimes even says this on my Facebook page) ingrained this in my mind, but I guess it was always easier when you had your mother doing your laundry for you.

Now, from two separate incidents that are eerily similar and involved the same two people, I will always remember to not only wear CLEAN underwear, but to also wear ones that are not tattered, torn, holey, nor last decade's model.

My friend (we will call her Cassandra to protect her innocence) won a motorcycle in a contest at her work and wanted to go ride with Colby (another alias to protect the innocent) and I on her first ride. Unfortunately, during her very first ride, Cassandra went down on her bike at thankfully a low speed.  She laid in the road as we rushed back to make sure she was okay, while someone called 911. When the ambulance arrived (and two fire trucks, and a couple of police cars), they immediately asked her what was wrong, and she said her leg was hurting.

Well...before she could say "wait!", the medic whipped out a pair of scissors (and not even sure where they came from) and started to cut her jeans.  They started at the ankle and kept cutting, and cutting, and cutting, until they actually reached her belt. Then they pulled back her jeans. There, in front of all of the neighborhood people, all of the emergency personnel from the 7 emergency vehicles, and Colby and me, were Cassandra's most comfortable finest white cotton baggie underwear, glistening in the afternoon sun.

I leaned down while they were looking at her leg to make sure it was okay, and whispered, "Nice granny panties." And in her pain and embarrassment, she just laughed...you see, she was in no shape to hit me or catch me if I started to run - that is when I like to strike with my witty retorts.  (In case you are wondering...Cassandra did have a dislocated shoulder, fractured foot and hurt wrist, but she is a trooper and has since fully recovered - and unfortunately for me, she can now catch me to hit me.)

The other incident had to do with another motorcycle incident as well. Colby (mentioned above) laid his bike down and called Cassandra to come get him to take him to the hospital to have his hand looked at. Colby was instantly brought into the traige room because of the accident, and Cassandra went into the room with him.

They wanted him to get undressed to put those wonderful paperish gowns on, and due to his hand being injured, he had to have Cassandra help him get his pants off.

Poor Colby......Poor Cassandra.....

You see, Colby was supposed to go on vacation the next day, and laundry was going to be done that night. He unfortunately had on the male version of granny panties....let's call them pappy panties.

You know guys, those last pair of clean underwear that you only wear in an emergency because they don't fit right, have a worn out elastic band, and some holes?  Yep....he had that pair on...at least he took his mother's advice and they were clean.

So, Cassandra got Colby back in one instant of embarrassing, not so new, underwear.

The moral and lesson for me, and I hope for everyone out there....

You should not only wear CLEAN underwear, but NICE underwear everyday you walk out of the house, since you never know who will be on the receiving end of your not-so-tighty whities.