So, let me just get it out now...
My name is Tim...
*HI TIM!*
...and my 60-something mother is on Facebook.
It is not that she is enjoying herself and has found ways to spend her golden years. It is not that she is able to keep in contact with family from across the country. What it boils down to is this: I can't do much of anything without her knowing about it.
Having been on my own for way too many years to count, it feels like I am still living in my childhood home - however there is no homemade lasagna, no freshly washed Garanimals, and no one to make my bed. All I hear whenever we talk on our weekly check-in-Thursday-night-pre-Survivor phone call in her best Jewish mother voice:
*HI TIM!*
...and my 60-something mother is on Facebook.
It is not that she is enjoying herself and has found ways to spend her golden years. It is not that she is able to keep in contact with family from across the country. What it boils down to is this: I can't do much of anything without her knowing about it.
Having been on my own for way too many years to count, it feels like I am still living in my childhood home - however there is no homemade lasagna, no freshly washed Garanimals, and no one to make my bed. All I hear whenever we talk on our weekly check-in-Thursday-night-pre-Survivor phone call in her best Jewish mother voice:
"I see you just lost another $5.63 on online poker."
"Why do you drink Bloody Marys EVERY Sunday morning?"
"Did you get that rash checked out?"
*crickets chirping*
In addition, it is bad enough she is on Facebook finding out she is "100% white", the NFL player she is like (Troy Palamalu), or arranging a Sorority House Costume Party event in Sorority Life (Say what????)...but she is also friends with lots of my friends - over 40 of them to be exact.
So again I get to hear a re-hash of my friend's postings from the week.
So again I get to hear a re-hash of my friend's postings from the week.
"Did you see that Lucy walked her dog today and stepped in poop?"
"OMG...I didn't know that Chuck is bi and was once 'Gigi Spot', the 2004 Charm City Drag Queen Champion!"
"Why don't you still wear that rugby shirt I gave you in 1988 that you were wearing in that picture Rick posted of you drunk playing beer pong in college."
*crickets chirping again*
"OMG...I didn't know that Chuck is bi and was once 'Gigi Spot', the 2004 Charm City Drag Queen Champion!"
"Why don't you still wear that rugby shirt I gave you in 1988 that you were wearing in that picture Rick posted of you drunk playing beer pong in college."
*crickets chirping again*
Don't get me wrong - I love my mother (and my father, but his main online entertainment is finding dead people genealogy), but I feel like I am in the twilight zone sometimes. There just is something about living a whole county away from your parents, and they still know basically everything I and my her friends are doing.
I just know one of these days I will be walking into Isabella's for our monthly tapas night, and she will be sitting there clinking a glass of sangria with everyone, or I walk into another friend's house for gory-slasher-movie-sleepover-weekend and find her dressed in her finest flannel nightgown holding oreos and a Bud Lime in one hand, and "Revenge of Chucky 7" in the other.
I just know one of these days I will be walking into Isabella's for our monthly tapas night, and she will be sitting there clinking a glass of sangria with everyone, or I walk into another friend's house for gory-slasher-movie-sleepover-weekend and find her dressed in her finest flannel nightgown holding oreos and a Bud Lime in one hand, and "Revenge of Chucky 7" in the other.
But wait......this does make my mother kinda cool, right?
She does hang in there with messages to my friends using "LMAO, WTH, OMG" the right way. She can be a mean Scrabble player (she just used "woot woot" in her Facebook status posting letting everyone know about her win over her scrabble archnemesis - one of my long-time dear friends). And just the other day, she was handing out Mojitos and Seven and Sevens to lucky online recipients (I didn't even know she knew what a Mojito was).
So, as I sit here and think about it...do I really want to have it any other way?
So, as I sit here and think about it...do I really want to have it any other way?
8 comments:
Haha, this is so funny. I experienced much of the same when my parents got on facebook a year ago, except now my mom always wants to get on my account since I have more friends!
This writing is very funny, I really enjoyed reading this.
Thanks Spencer...I enjoyed writing it.
I sympathize with you...my father and step-mother have found their way on to Facebook. It is midly disturbing, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Could be OK, could be the first sign of the apocalypse. Jury's still out...
it's good that you've found a balance (sorta) with your mom. lol i absolutely refuse to be my mom's friend on FB. she already knows too much
Haha, yeah I have my parents added on there and every day is a new experience as well! I'll write a sad face on my status and my mom will ask me whats wrong and I'm like wat the heck?! How did you know?! lol, but nonetheless, I feel the same way, I love having my parents on there, just another funny story to remember when I get older!
OMG...I am so glad my mom is not internet literate. I have to print my blogs and mail them to her !!!
Your post made LOL! I immediately sent this to my mom, with whom I am friends with on Facebook. She'll undoubtedly tell my father about it during one of breaks from researching genealogy.
LOL! Tim, this is hilarious! Your mom sounds awesome! Although, to be quite honest, I kinda like my mom's own non-FB savvy, even though she does indeed have a FB profile. Great post!
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