Krazy Kinetic

Kinetic Sculpture Race (n). An organized contest of human-powered amphibious all-terrain works of art. If you haven't heard of it, read the history of the Kinetic Sculpture Race and then learn the logistics of Baltimore's annual event. Or just go directly to my quick-start users' guide on how best to be seen and really SEE this Saturday, May 1st!

1. By bike. Two wheels is better than four or none. You're not only more maneuverable but an unofficial extension of the race. Take a lock so you may leave your bike and stroll as desired.
2. Before crowds arrive. The staging area and requisite brake safety test at the American Visionary Art Museum allow a look at the sculptures in their original "unsullied glory" (i.e., before any later untimely demise).
   
3. With a camera. Spectators are often as outrageous and colorful (in all senses of the word) as the sculptures. Have a camera at the ready - which brings me to the next item...
   
4. In costume. Organizers recommend wearing "something absurd" and suggest visiting a thrift store to create a sufficiently ridiculous outfit if you don't already have one.
   
5. Near the Korean War Memorial. If you watch the race for only an hour, do it here. The famed Canton water entry not only tests the sculptures' floatability (and water navigability) but provides for great people watching and/or comfy napping. Don't miss The Moderately Famished Caterpillar, a train of 6 bikes dressed as a caterpillar; according to the program guide, "at the water they'll enter a cocoon and magically transform into a butterfly--look carefully to see their surprise flotation!" (From the creators of 2008's famed It's Ben Hur, Hon).
6. Through Patterson Park. The second most entertaining (IMHO) race location and challenges, these terrains usually cause the demise of yet more entrants.
   
7. At the awards ceremony. I don't always make it until this 5pm-ish ceremony, but these non-traditional awards include my personal favorites: Grand Mediocre Champion (the team finishing in the middle of all entries) and Worst Honorable Mention.
   

Enjoy, Hon!